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Unemployed Guy

@porktartare.bsky.social

Professional contrarian, naysayer, yum-yucker, heckler, and overall hater.

1,089 Followers  |  596 Following  |  6,598 Posts  |  Joined: 16.06.2023
Posts Following

Posts by Unemployed Guy (@porktartare.bsky.social)

Where did you get your first proper bagel from

05.03.2026 02:15 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

ty bud

05.03.2026 01:42 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

You saved my heart from the fate of
Big Freedia

04.03.2026 22:47 β€” πŸ‘ 3    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Worked for post office and worked for post office

04.03.2026 22:16 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Posts with 156,000 likes on LinkedIn:

Courtney β€œMale Courtney” Bordeaux: Hold your money in front of the mirror. Now your brain sees two times the money, plus one time your handsomeness πŸ’‹

04.03.2026 10:49 β€” πŸ‘ 98    πŸ” 13    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Why did I think so many songs were about sex when I was a child. Probably nothing to worry about.

03.03.2026 22:11 β€” πŸ‘ 11    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0

When I was a kid I thought the song "Bent" by Matchbox 20 was about his dick being bent.

03.03.2026 22:01 β€” πŸ‘ 11    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Patrick McGoohan saying "No one has ever escaped from Alcatraz"

Patrick McGoohan saying "No one has ever escaped from Alcatraz"

Patrick McGoohan adding: "And no one ever will"

Patrick McGoohan adding: "And no one ever will"

Turning this off. i thought this was supposed to be about an escape from alcatraz..

02.11.2025 22:42 β€” πŸ‘ 1153    πŸ” 103    πŸ’¬ 19    πŸ“Œ 1
predator handshake meme showing waluigi and a baby seal agreeing on "I'm gonna wean"

predator handshake meme showing waluigi and a baby seal agreeing on "I'm gonna wean"

03.03.2026 15:37 β€” πŸ‘ 15    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I'm serving cunt in Cedar Rapids!

03.03.2026 14:44 β€” πŸ‘ 160    πŸ” 17    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 0

Squirting Fuck Mania 17 Sessions!!

03.03.2026 04:00 β€” πŸ‘ 47    πŸ” 12    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 3

The uncrammed

03.03.2026 00:45 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Bless us with blood
Bless us with blood

02.03.2026 22:25 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

It's fine. Like most citizens of Yharnam, the President is undergoing "blood ministration"

02.03.2026 22:25 β€” πŸ‘ 12    πŸ” 2    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
Post image 02.03.2026 16:49 β€” πŸ‘ 19    πŸ” 3    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

My hunch: people don't like it because it's too similar to Asian

02.03.2026 14:03 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Post from @joshuafoust.com

"I'm sorry but what is a USian? Are other countries subjected to having a unwelcome demonym forced on them in the name of social justice or is it just for us?

I'm fascinated by how people defending this term seem unwilling or unable to engage with my question."

Post from @joshuafoust.com "I'm sorry but what is a USian? Are other countries subjected to having a unwelcome demonym forced on them in the name of social justice or is it just for us? I'm fascinated by how people defending this term seem unwilling or unable to engage with my question."

Screenshot showing that Mr. Foust has disabled replies.

Screenshot showing that Mr. Foust has disabled replies.

Hmmm...

HMMM...

02.03.2026 14:01 β€” πŸ‘ 5    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
a nextdoor post with the text "Dad. Turn the water back on or I will destroy your truck"

a nextdoor post with the text "Dad. Turn the water back on or I will destroy your truck"

the REAL posters are on Nextdoor

30.08.2024 16:44 β€” πŸ‘ 333    πŸ” 60    πŸ’¬ 5    πŸ“Œ 0
Post image

stupid fucking milkshake won’t be nice to the meatball

18.10.2024 21:00 β€” πŸ‘ 1148    πŸ” 486    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 1

White boy shocks Innsmouth restaurant staff by ordering in perfect, non-euclidean R'lyehian.

02.03.2026 02:33 β€” πŸ‘ 6    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Ground turkey, leftover rice, mixed veggies

Ground turkey, leftover rice, mixed veggies

Making unemployment chow aka human kibble

02.03.2026 01:43 β€” πŸ‘ 13    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Which Hokas?

01.03.2026 23:06 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

I put this on every Halloween

01.03.2026 20:31 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
AI generated image of Quentin Tarantino looking dejected in a concrete room. There are several tells that this is not an actual photograph: 

1. This is a representation of what QT looked like several years ago. 
2. Garbled text on the torn signs on the wall. 
3. Everybody's just staring into the middle distance. 
4. Woman doing "I'm terrified" pose has fingers that are melting together.

AI generated image of Quentin Tarantino looking dejected in a concrete room. There are several tells that this is not an actual photograph: 1. This is a representation of what QT looked like several years ago. 2. Garbled text on the torn signs on the wall. 3. Everybody's just staring into the middle distance. 4. Woman doing "I'm terrified" pose has fingers that are melting together.

Please don't repost this obvious AI image, even if it does represent something that actually happened.

01.03.2026 20:27 β€” πŸ‘ 6    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

He's running

01.03.2026 20:13 β€” πŸ‘ 18    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

Operation Epic Kill Yourself

28.02.2026 23:20 β€” πŸ‘ 10    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Yeah. It's on sale at Lidl with da app.

28.02.2026 21:36 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

"Rach hon. I can see everything."

28.02.2026 21:30 β€” πŸ‘ 3    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
I’m 62 years old, I live in Tampa, I eat corn and beef everyday, I always have a titleist hat on,  and Iran is the biggest threat to my freedom

I’m 62 years old, I live in Tampa, I eat corn and beef everyday, I always have a titleist hat on, and Iran is the biggest threat to my freedom

28.02.2026 13:05 β€” πŸ‘ 7043    πŸ” 1035    πŸ’¬ 56    πŸ“Œ 15

I'm the baby from the Nirvana album and I'm here to say/
My dick has grown bigger in a major way

28.02.2026 01:34 β€” πŸ‘ 23    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0