Albert

I just think it would be cute if I was eating you and you were reading through your list of top 10 names

We need to have a conversation about names

(While having sex, obviously)

I'd back myself to fix this within exactly nine months

Babies love me too! Let's do this...

We have a special lounge reserved for our most valued customers...

a man holding a tablet that says sky priority on it ALT: a man holding a tablet that says sky priority on it

If you'd just like come this way...

Hard nipples under wet sports gear. This is what you get for going outside these days.

Les tits en hiver

"Like" is possibly the biggest understatement ever uttered by a human

There's just love and adoration now

(I knew I was right to be obsessed)

Oh my GOD you're so fucking beautiful

You'd be surprised! Around my way they are the height of exotic

Well that's settled! People will find your accent adorable and you can take over the village shop and sell bread and vegetables that people actually like. It'll be such a happy time!

Ok so all you have to do is swap out your millionaire US lifestyle and be seduced by the simple charm of rural English life. The downside is you would rightly hate everyone in rural England but them's the breaks, kid.

I believe she was one of many who recorded a cover of this

I cannot tell you how much I am good with that.

*Me, an English person*

All over this, assuming you find my accent, love of the pub and general disorganised demeanor somehow charming

I was actually imagining this today and having the loveliest time.

I can be anything you want me to be.

(Actually, that's quite subby isn't it?)

Me in a chair. Naked, obviously.

It's been the longest week. I've saved a seat for you

Ngl it's just gone up about 15 levels

NICE!

Omg someone's going to wake up to 1K followers and it's so fully deserved!

Don't resist. I would like it

You've planted a terrible seed in me...

QED.

And you can't argue with that because it's Latin.

Haha I've been intermittently singing "bows on cocks" to the tune of Girls On Film since you were talking about them a couple of weeks back

You cannot be surprised!

Well that didn't take long...

This does nothing to contradict my hypothesis that you're incapable of not looking hot