Michelle

Any decent person should be able to handle a taste of their own medicine

I just laughed at a Tums commercial, they’ve still got it

Blood moon on my bday is crazy

The ants were right

The ants better be right

Forgot to bring my headphones to the gym fml

I lied, my funny is up not my money

Who up besides my money

Who up yearning

Back on my bs (looking for a husband @ the gym)

I thought the sun cooked us

I hate when birds fly in front of vehicles as if to test their limits and just barely avoid getting hit like mf this is not a game if you die I also die a little

Don’t u hate when

Meow meow

Ryan would not pass the bird test

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I eat pie on company time

This old gringo at cvs kept coughing beside me in the checkout line instead of behind me, the more I scooted up the closer he got.. Everyone in line was leaving enough space between them and the person checking out but he was breathing on my neck while I was paying, had to look back at him like 🤨

My doctor fr said I don’t fw that homeopathic bs I’m gonna give you real medicine…

White people don’t cover their mouths when they cough wtf

I may eat goblin food at work but don’t be fooled, @ home I’m avoiding seed oils, eating fruit like a Greek god, and adding arugula and avocado to everything

If you don’t take your foot off the break when the light turns green bc you’re on your phone I will try to blow you up with my mind

No, it’s a reference to this tweet lol

Good morning, fellow perverts

Love is in the air so I’m flirting with potential suitors in the dms again

DOD (Dad of the Day) goes to the nice man who made me feel good and proud of myself for taking the initiative to remove/install my own windshield wipers :-)

We’re so back (my unibrow and mustache have been removed)

Can’t miss that…

My legs are going to be jelly tomorrow, I fear

I need someone to convince me to show up to work on Monday, I officially checked out, y’all