Chris Pickenpaugh

There has never been a President that has worked as hard as me! My hours are the longest, and my results are among the best. I’ve stopped Eight Wars, saving many millions of lives in the process, created the Greatest Economy in the History of our Country, brought Business back into the United States at levels never seen before, rebuilt our Military, created the Largest Tax Cuts and Regulation Cuts, EVER, closed our open and very dangerous Southern Border, when previous Administrations were unable to do so, and created an “aura” around the United States of America that has led every Country in the World to respect us more than ever before. In addition to all of that, I go out of my way to do long, thorough, and very boring Medical Examinations at the Great Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, seen and supervised by top doctors, all of whom have given me PERFECT Marks — Some have even said they have never seen such Strong Results. I do these Tests because I owe it to our Country. In addition to the Medical, I have done something that no other President has done, on three separate occasions, the last one being recently, by taking what is known as a Cognitive Examination, something which few people would be able to do very well, including those working at The New York Times, and I ACED all three of them in front of large numbers of doctors and experts, most of whom I do not know. I have been told that few people have been able to “ace” this Examination and, in fact,

most do very poorly, which is why many other Presidents have decided not to take it at all. Despite all of this, the time and work involved, The New York Times, and some others, like to pretend that I am “slowing up,” am maybe not as sharp as I once was, or am in poor physical health, knowing that it is not true, and knowing that I work very hard, probably harder than I have ever worked before. I will know when I am “slowing up,” but it’s not now! After all of the work I have done with Medical Exams, Cognitive Exams, and everything else, I actually believe it’s seditious, perhaps even treasonous, for The New York Times, and others, to consistently do FAKE reports in order to libel and demean “THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.” They are true Enemies of the People, and we should do something about it. They have inaccurately reported on all of my Election Results and, in fact, were forced to apologize on much of what they wrote. The best thing that could happen to this Country would be if The New York Times would cease publication because they are a horrible, biased, and untruthful “source” of information. Thank you for your attention to this matter. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

Every part of this is bonkers. The intro is bonkers. The transition to his health is bonkers. The mention that other presidents didn't need cognitive exams is bonkers. The claim that this screening test is somehow hard is bonkers. The idea that criticism of him is treason is bonkers. All of it.

It is absolutely wild that the guy who won’t stop yelling about law and order is now personally stepping in to keep January 6 documents hidden from the police officers who were attacked that day. He knows exactly what’s in those files and he is terrified the country will see it.

So funny

Have you guys seen the Rick & Morty episode where the President turns himself into a turkey, then halfway back into being a Turkey President?

New US security strategy aligns with Russia's vision, Moscow says The Kremlin welcomes the starkly worded document, which does not cast Russia as a threat to the US.

If he's not a Russian asset, he might as well be one.

Remember, he doesn't have to bring down the U.S., only make it dumber and weaker enough.

Appointment of controversial FDA official rocking agency like "an atom bomb," scientists there say The Trump administration's elevation of Dr. Tracy Beth Høeg to lead a high-profile office within the Food and Drug Administration is raising alarm among multiple senior FDA officials.

"Tracy Beth Høeg has never supervised a drug review, never has conducted a clinical trial. She doesn't understand laws and regulations."

Multiple top-level officials are preparing resignations.

Anyone who knows this history should know there’s no contested issue.

Trump hoodwinked his voters and he’s still trying to do it today…

2024: he dropped a campaign video titled “Make America Affordable Again” on day one.

2025: he hasn’t done squat to bring costs down, prices are climbing, and suddenly “affordability is a Democrat scam” because he’s panicking.

Jeez...

Small businesses are getting pummeled under Trump's tariff-driven economy.

Again, this is the cognitive test that Donald Trump thinks was very hard.

I don't know. We learn where the shoe went, what can be done about it.

Big if true.

HA! This image just keeps giving.

I mean, Don Jr. and Christmas coming up.

Palestinian death toll has surpassed 70,000 since the Israel-Hamas war began, Gaza ministry says Gaza’s Health Ministry says the Palestinian death toll has surpassed 70,000 since the Israel-Hamas war began.

Very smart people are saying we have the best ceasefires.

"Which one of us is flag?"

This is what's up.

Only for a moment and the moment's gone...
Dust in the wind... All they are is turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, creamed corn and green bean casserole flavored dust in the wind...

I knew a guy who called them Prangles. Gotta gets me some Prangles, he'd say. Target demo.

Damn straight! I only count with American numbers, just like Jesus when he had the #1 first Christmas! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🥳🥳🥳

"REMOVED BY AUTHOR" = funnier

❤️

ProPublica = top-tier U.S. investigative journalism

Email says We are prepared to receive boxes tomorrow, as NY agents are travelling to WFO in the morning, and vill arrive to Winchester where they will start photographing and we will start scanning and processing the physical files. Once I see the volume, I'|l have a better estimate of processing times, although 1 suggest we do a rolling delivery to further demonstrate the FBIls commitment to delivery and transparency.

🚨 NEW/EXCLUSIVE: The FBI turned over dozens of emails to me in response to my #FOIA request that provides a behind-the-scenes look at discussions involving the review and redaction of the Epstein files

www.bloomberg.com/news/newslet...

Oy. The multi-level dumbness.

Count your blessings.
@theonion.com

*ACKNOWLEDGE = *latest fad !!! 😆

😆

DOGE days are over as Trump disbands Elon Musk's team of federal cost-cutters | TechCrunch DOGE members are reportedly worried that they could face prosecution for some of their activities conducted while under the leadership of Elon Musk.

Critics & lawmakers: DOGE dismantled fed progs & gov't depts - little to show re: quantifiable savings.

DOGE’s cuts: countless world deaths after USAID shutdown - i.e., humanitarian/disaster aid.

DOGE accessed fed databases with personal info, millions of US citizens; data now in malicious risk.

Everything about this might be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen