How Many Stoats Is That?

Stoats are more odorous than the average mammal #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM

That's 58.8 millistoatlengths per year! #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM

I cannot quantify in stoats how much work is put into #2025MMM by volunteer storytellers, researchers, and artists. As somebody who from time to time does all three of those things for money, it can be a lot of effort! Thank you all for your contributions ❤️

I'll continue to monitor this account sporadically, feel free to request stoatistics for any interesting or noteworthy measurements you come across on Bluesky

Every time I get pinged for a stoat stat, it warms my little weasel heart #2025MMM

For realzies!! 21 seconds +/- 13 seconds!! I’ve been holding on to that reference for just the right battle. Turns out we had lots of peeing in that round 🎉#2025MMM bsky.app/profile/tcas...

what can I say, there's a reason all of my accounts focus on the slinkies and stinkies

I need some way to quantify the odor of a stoat so I can measure how stinky a ginkgo is #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM

Good news! Stoats also think play is a justifiable use of their energy (illustration by Consie Powell) #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM

woah

92.8 and 287 stoats, respectively #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM

Both combatants' canines measure 0.15 stoatlengths. Stoats' canines are around 2.5mm in diameter, but my best efforts could not find the length of the fangs #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM

If you'd done it, I would've attempted to find the average time of stoat urination #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM

(it calculated out to 114-295, if you were curious)

Still much, much larger than the average stoat, and larger than even 100 stoats! Not quite as large as 300, though #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM

Stoats can run 20 miles per hour, which is 94.7 kilostoatlengths per hour #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM

that's like eating 18.6 stoats (although those don't have any body fat, much less blubber... and of course they'd be harder to eat than a dead whale... but you get my drift) #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM

that averages out to 11.4 stoatlengths per hour #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM

I think you are underestimating the length of a stoat! The best answer I could find online was 45cm, which is quite an impressive schlong, but still only comes out to 1.32 stoatlengths #StoatsAsMeasurement #MMMAfterDark

The respective proportions on a stoat are probably 20, 75, and 5 (at least, when the legs are not fully extended and are counted with the main body) #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM

wait now I'm kinda curious if there are any mammals whose stoatlength number is LARGER than their stoatweight number. Snakes would fit, but are there any mammals that are snakier than a stoat? #StoatsAsMeasurement

The tapir had a length of ~7 stoats and a weight of over 2000 stoats! It's a funny metric that produces small numbers in one category and large ones in another, particularly with large animals like seals that tend to be round and dense #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM bsky.app/profile/stoa...

5.88 stoatlengths, same weight #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM

4.41 stoatlengths, and a weight of 455 stoats #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM

yeah I had to break out the kilostoats on that one

47.4 stoats #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM

53.6 stoats #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM

Those northern weasels are the right colors for this Tuxedo Style division, but it doesn't really count as a "tuxedo" if you wear black shoes with a white linen suit. Besides, these tuxedoed animals are dressed to stand out, whereas stoats molt to white to blend in! #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM

Stoats molt twice as frequently! They are famous for molting to white (save for the black tail tip) in the winter, but even the ones at more southerly latitudes that stay brown all year molt just the same. The winter pelage may not be a different color but it is thicker and warmer! #2025MMM

8.06 stoatlengths! The narwhal didn't need it this time but he could make his tusk more intimidating by letting 8 stoats ride on it #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM