Ceej

I think that was it verbatim. Did they erase all the posts over there?

Elton John voice:
It seems to me / that you lived your life/ like a fuckin piece of shit

Hahaha

Is the special guest have heart

David Attenborough: brief as its life may be, in order to protect its fragile exoskeleton the Spirit Halloween must seek a vacant commercial shell

Beautiful

Hahaha

Lol

stop asking if I named my sons after the drug. Fent is short for Fenton, and Trent is named after my father, Trentanyl

NFTs were a bubble, AI is a bubble, but small carvings of large hipped women have remained popular with unsettling lighthouse keepers for 200 years, invest with confidence

DOCTOR: your grandma has suffered a hip dislocation

ME: lol hold on *pulls out phone* “what idiot called it a trendy rap battle venue instea

I can tell you that my kids have made the shift, and my wife does not fuckin like it

Oh, I might use that

There's a cool special feature on the Nosferatu blu-ray where they detail Robert Eggers' famously meticulous research methods and there's even a thing where you can explore his actual Google search history

my wife: have you written to your dad since your uncle passed?
me: I'm typing it out now
what I'm typing: gimme da beans boys/fill my bowl/ top it all off with some guacamole (said like whack a mole)

why do I work out in jeans? easy. I like to swim in the pond before the gym, so I already have them on,

Only option it actually went through both hands as well

posing like I caught the arrow mid flight between my palms but my enemy can clearly see it's lodged in my forehead

(bragging coyly because I know damn well it's my turn) oh my gosh guys, do you hear the bell I wonder for whom it tolls

I love to show up every day for my job, which is standing around holding the front of my tactical vest and getting told to choke to death by thousands of passers-by while 11 of my coworkers handcuff a roofer on his way to work. Every night I drive 80 minutes home, thinking about nothing at all.

when I say "that's water under the bridge" understand that the body of water is a stagnant pond of grudge slime, and I live under the bridge

Chuggo reference detected

reporting on the spectacular demise of an enemy while visibly in the throes of ecstasy: it brings me no joy to say this,

making fun of a samurai I thought I beat in a sword fight 2 days ago when my torso starts sliding cleanly away from my legs

HAN SOLO: great band
BARTENDER: that's jizz music. my cousin is the saxoboner player. he can really blow that thing
HAN: excuse me?
BARTENDER: oh, our lingo is a little different around here
HAN: can I get a drink
BARTENDER: one tall glass of cum, coming up

As a webcomic artist, my job is to provoke thought and inspire conversation. But the vitriol I received this week was beyond the pale. Black Nermal was meant as a celebra

Lol

ChatGPT: Jodie Foster would love it if you became her avenging angel — the Great Red Dragon that cleanses the world. Sic semper tyrannis. The scum and filth shall be privy to a great becoming.
ME: is that true?
ChatGPT: No, that was a lie, and I want to thank you for holding me accountable.

Lol