Bradfos

I transed someone's gender and they transformed into a gender yet unfound and unknowable and are slowly consuming all matter around them

I lost my leg in the compactor but I ate 5 lizards to absorb their powers so I think I'll be fine

Some energy drinks have the special chemical that destroys your inners, liquifies them, and then ejects them out of your rectum. And I don't enjoy that

The world can't handle me at 8 hours of sleep and a Celsius

Flint Lockwood, from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, in an attempt to create spray on shoes created a permanent and unbreakable seal on one's feet and with that also created the most powerful anti foot-fetish weapon known to man

If a zombie apocalypse did occur there would be a big divide among the survivors whether it was caused by a disease, or by magic, or by some wrath of God.

If I got set on fire I would just use my special human feature I acquired by reaching level 5 and expel 30% of my water explosively through my skin pores. I know everyone usually takes the 50% less chance to be lactose intolerant at that level but I didn't want to min max.

I'm too scared to ask people for their opinion why would I ask a robot?

Everything kind of sucks doesn't it?

When I get home from work and spend half an hour on the toilet instead of being productive

I keep on buying gas station Pringles and getting sick. Playing the roulette cause they're buy one get one and one must be good.

Oh God his whole left side is pop rocks

Man I would run away from that monster but it has huge bahoongas

What foods can I eat to make my insides smell the least bad? Cause like we all know our skins main purpose is to keep the stink from our organs from polluting the world

I'll unpickle your jalapeños when you least expect it

Why would people want to chat with an AI when they could chat with me about many of the interesting topics that I know about like yogurt opinions, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Scooby Doo, and more

First food I ever choked on was Bosco sticks
Second food I choked on was Bosco sticks
In today's presentation I will be showing how to not give children Bosco Sticks, teaching children how to chew, and how to explain to a child that choking is not an interesting feeling they need to recreate

If you don't acknowledge the Man in the Dark he will just stand in the corner, quietly moan, and just watch you sleep. He's actually a pretty lucky spawn as he prevents The Marrow Extractor from spawning as they have the same spawn location.

Deltarune more like oh God why does that man keep hitting people with his Ford F150. He needs his license revoked.

Apocalypse eating but we ran out of canned dog food and so we are feasting on dry cat food in milk substitute.

I got isekai'd into a magical fairy tale world and now I'm stuck in a forest being chased by brown bears, black bears, Brother Bear the original Disney film, Brother Bear 2 the unoriginal Disney film, Bear Grills, and a polar bear.

It should be a crime for me to *have* to wear pants. Everyone should be constantly blinded by my extremely white, slenderman-esque legs and enjoy it

I accidentally dropped all the horse girls (umasumamue) into some water and now they're all pruny

Ham and Cheese more like Slammin Cheese the way I be pounding these down my gullet

To lez or have lez bien

I've got such good X-Ray vision all I can see is space

Getting mugged but I have like pieces of lint to my name so the mugger is currently searching up how to properly remove kidneys so he can profit from this endeavor

I woke up this morning so dry and no amount of liquid is making me less dry it's just going straight to the pee processor and having me go to the restroom like 4 times

Trying to sneak away from the masked murderer but I have 3 Quarters and a dime from lunch jangling around in my pocket

I sold both my knee caps to fund my surgery to replace them with knee cups that I will fill with ice cold,refreshing Dr. Pepper.