Speckenbauer

Queef Lasley.

I don't think I could ever be trusted with a free bar. I was in Germany last weekend. Racked up €216 worth of lager on my hotel bill from Saturday afternoon until Monday morning. Not a fucking clue how comfy the beds were.

Having followed him for many years on the other platform I can only assume himself while under the influence of many beverages

It's basically just like following me on Twitter again. Its the only chat I have in me tbh. Well, that and joining the deed dad club, but ladies prefer that chat on a second date.

If life is heroin addiction, Hibs are methadone?

Ach few months back, you've no missed much

Once again, no matter how God damn fucking awful it is being a Hearts fan, they tramps give you a wee chuckle.

Hibs fans furiously cancelling their annual leave for the 2nd half of the year. Beautiful.

I'm watching in the hope that i can 1) piss myself laughing at Hibs and 2) watch Graeme Shinnie suffer a horrific career ending injury. Basically the only 2 reasons I watch football at all tbh.

I've sat with the whole game on thus far and couldn't tell you one thing that's actually happened apart from that one really shan free kick that celtic had. Would also struggle to name more than 3 Aberdeen players

Come on man, as much as I canny stand Aberdeen succeeding it would be fucking hilarious if they deny Hibs their big day(s) oot

Chip roll, salt and sauce
KING RIB SUPPER

Found my dad dead today. How does one react? Cos I've no fucking idea. Anyway, if your Dad's still alive, tell him you love him. And if you're a dad yourself, make sure your kids know how fucking loved they are like I did. Always his blue eyed boy.

As shite as this seasons been, and as much as I hate the guts of 95% of people involved with HMFC, can I just tell you all how deep my love for Beni Baningime has grown. What a truly wonderful man. Almost makes me feel bad for booing the team off the park every week.

There is nothing spectacular about Davie Martindale. Nuh uh.

Said ages ago when everyone was hyping up an Ayr/Falkirk title race that come the end of the season it'll be Livi who's in there and win it. Just going about their business in less spectacular fashion. Probably won't win it, but its going to be tight.

Could've came to Gorgie and done that 😉

Saturday was very testing and I was only a week in. Was fine until after the game. Then I was choking! I sure know how to time it eh.

Is the bevvy in any way responsible for the fractured spine? If not, what a fucking loser.

Trying to stay off the bevvy until I go to Germany in 23 days time. Currently on day 11 sober. Suffice to say, I am bored out of my fucking mind man.

In a hotel in Motherwell, half cut, listening to Ian Dury & The Blockheads. Bring it on.

I got absolutely steaming (15 pints, tanned the missus wine in the fridge then passed oot on the kitchen floor) on Friday and I'm still feeling rough today. Probably the best thing I'd done for a long time.

I'm known for many things but high jinks and Tom foolery isn't one of them. I'm a very serious person.

Fantastic achievement for James Wilson to get a Scotland first team call up. Hopefully the start of a great career for both club and Country.

Just got hame fae work to realise my t-shirts been on inside out all day. 32 years old in October btw.

🤣 I still found time to upset weegies again despite the crash! Besides, that platform is nothing without me.

Guaranteed to be the Sunday if we do. You just know it.

Pissing down in Leith the night boys

I see we've got Celtic in the semi's then. (Posting this now so I don't have to post it tomorrow night)