Chris 🏃🏉

I have watched this approximately 47 times and laughed out loud 47 times

@grumpyandrew.bsky.social guess where I am today…

Common Peephole     She came from Greece, she had a faulty socket. Her eye fell out, she couldn’t stop it.   That’s when I caught her eye. Brian Bilston

Pulp poetry.

Tuning the Dial We’re lost in music, caught …………… at second slip, low down, by the outstretched hand of ……………….. the US vice president, JD Vance, who was spotted ... …………..….…. working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when …………………. Shostakovich’s Symphony No. 7 was premiered in the …………………..… Forties. South or southwest 5 to 7, occasionally gale ………..………… from Croydon is on the line, who wants to talk to us about ……………………….… why Aviva life insurance is right for you and …………………………………... offers me protection, a lot of love and affection whether I’m right or ………….…….….. left wing but there’s nobody in the centre and the ball gets cleared to ………..…….. ….......….…..... Oscar Wilde, who famously announced ‘I have nothing to declare except …………….…………… .……….….. I can boogie, boogie woogie all night long. Brian Bilston

Happy Radio Day to all those who celebrate.

The History of Folk Horror Explore the shadowy history of folk horror and its connection to ancient customs and rituals on the British Isles. Followed by Q&A.

@grumpyandrew.bsky.social I'm going to assume you've seen this, but just in case....
The History of Folk Horror www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-histor...

A meme based on FRANKENSTEIN (1931), featuring Karloff's monster and the farmer's daughter, Maria. Maria says: "A big package of toilet paper fell on me at Costco" The monster replies: "You OK?" Maria says: "Yes, just some soft tissue damage" The monster pushes her in the lake, which seems only right.

Keanu Reeves: THERE'S A BOMB ON THE BUS! IF WE GO UNDER 50MPH WE’LL EXPLODE!
Me: [while maintaining eye contact, presses "Next Stop" signal]

cat wearing glasses and bow tie at laptop

born to be merry, forced to know what a spreadsheet is

Screengrab of the old man from Box of Delights saying "You're a good and kind boy, and you may see something of the Box"

me sexting

And now…a ‘joke’.

When is a Christmas sweet treat like the KGB?

When it’s a MINSK SPY…*coughs*

Why ‘abject hatred for the insufferable current Russian president’ and not ‘Putin intolerant’?

40 years of watching test cricket, you'd think I'd be used to us over promising and under delivering by now, wouldn't you?

Ah Saturday, finally I can get up and watch sure of the ashes....*sees score*...right kids cartoons it is then

Day 3 of my #AdventCalendar
[sound up]

Day 2 of my #AdventCalendar
[sound up]

Day 1 of my #AdventCalendar
[sound up]

SIMPLY HAVING A

Part of our 2025 Advent Calendar, a black and white line drawing showing my version of Bigfoots wearing wintery clothes and bearing various wrapped Christmas presents.

Every year we make a free-to-download-and-print-off-yourself colouring-in Advent Calendar. This year’s heavily features Bigfoots. Please share!
Download it for free here… www.worldofmoose.com/pages/2025-b...

I have a phobia of shallow dishes - I’m petri-fied

barista: can i take your name
james bond: the name's bond
barista: ok
james bond: james bond
barista: well i've written bond now
james bond: it's ok don't
barista: i can get a new cup
james bond: no it's fine
barista: it's not a problem
james bond: just go with bond

And they say there are no new sitcom ideas

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE

SECOND INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE OVER ZOOM TO MEET MORE OF THE TEAM

UNFORTUNATELY, YOU HAVE NOT BEEN SUCCESSFUL ON THIS OCCASION, BUT WE HOPE YOU'LL APPLY FOR FUTURE POSITIONS WITH THE VAMPIRE

Some are querying whether Andrew can renounce a dukedom without an Act of Parliament.

But you can parse a duchy and he’s left outside.

Good night.

[showing you round my house]
and this is where the magic happens

*opens door to reveal my basement warhammer 40k gaming table*

no AI image generator could ever come as close to capturing my soul as this photo of the smashing pumpkins lead singer billy corgan on a rollercoaster

The Joker Trilogy

[trinity test explodes]
oppenheimer: I am become death, destroyer
everyone else there: fucking hell that's awesome
oppenheimer: i said I am become
everyone else: bob mate look at that bang you've done
oppenheimer: I am trying to do a quote
everyone else: *running around doing bangs*

Her original rap name was Mary O. Blige but she changed it to J because people were taking advantage of her generosity.