Yumeko

// It is not Mother's Day here, but...
Still. Much love to the greatest Mother of them all.
Times like these, I am envious of Yume.
Hah.
<3

Stay blessed.

// I keep looking at her and thinking how wonderful she is. That's why she deserves only the finest.

I love her so so so much. I wonder if her love for Shinki can ever be matched by mine for her. Haha.

I'll figure it out. Just as she always does.

The perfect being.

“Become greater than the divines you serve.

Amass unlimited strength, hold your blade high and strike down all in your path relentlessly!

I have no choice now. There must be no more musing on the possibility; all I can do is act.

I will not allow you to extinguish my flame!”

“Lady Sariel…
Why do you hold it in front of me? Why do you parade my corpse? There is no one else to show, so this is just for me…

I still cannot tell if you are trying to break my spirit or encourage me.

I shall reclaim my body.

It will be mine.

It will be Mother's.”

“That exhaustion that I felt during the last few days of my life…

I feel it again. It is different, but still familiar. I have not been able to 'sleep', and I must not find out.

I must…

Mother…
I do not want to apologise again.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you so much.”

“This is what it means… to truly give yourself to the divines!”

//Thank you so much @newmoonshira.squiddymoon.com
for this; definitely one of the pieces I am most happy with. <3

“We have been together for some time… the Fallen Shrine has become my home for now.

I am not surprised that you have only taken this fascination with me because you were able to steal my soul away.

I wish you would understand my love.

But I know you loathe me for my refusal.”

“There is an element regarding seeing one's own corpse like this that does not sit well with me.

It makes this feel more finite. That if I cannot retrieve the body that Mother gave to me, then there is no path other than oblivion.

I approached it. Lady Sariel denied me.

Mm…”

“I saw… Lady Sariel carrying my body into the Fallen Shrine.

It is strange, since most corpses of Makaijin do not manage to persist this long without the primal essence of their soul. We are deeply embedded with our bodies…

Maybe that is a symbol of hope.

I need it to be.”

“It was always in my blood. You wished to show me how to best prepare your refreshments, but I always knew.

Your tastes came naturally to me, and I watched you trial the tea that I crafted for you for the first time so intently.

I want to make more for you, Mother.

I shall.”

“I had this latent desire that I would have heard from Alice.

I know I cannot expect anyone but myself to drag me from the grave. I will not expect it, because it is selfish to do so.

But I miss her.

And I do not want to risk… forgetting her.

If I do, then there is no hope.”

“Her name is Lady Shinki.
She is Mother to all of Makai, and I am her first.

Was…?

No, I *am* her first.

I call her Mother because she created me, and I love her as others love their parents.

I am her eternal servant. Forgetting that is sin.

Even with this darkness…”

“Reminiscing about the early days of Makai has been keeping the despair away. Lady Sariel has not compelled me to move across the boundary into oblivion — I still do not know why.

The memories are getting foggier, however. In an attempt to remember when Mother and I…

We…

…”

“The effort required has never been a focus of mine.

The variety is correct, and Mother's whim goes wherever she chooses it to go, but I will always do what it takes to satiate her.

I have no interest in debating preferences; the item in question is secondary to sharing a moment.”

// This is not counting her current position, since it would be difficult to answer the questions as a result…

“…I know why you are asking me this.

Much has happened to me as of late. I have had the opportunity to relieve myself of my greatest loathing, and while there are still grievous thoughts, I find more joy in being with Mother.

I would state I am… a six. Focusing more on service, and not hate…”

Human flesh… well, I am not fond of it.

I know this may not be entirely satisfactory of an answer, as it is not specific… my focus is much less on the individual meals however, and more on Mother's enjoyment of them.

I do enjoy cakes of all varieties, and I do have much experience with them. ❤️”

I am usually preparing treats of a sweet nature for Mother as a result, because that is what is most enjoyable to her.

Perhaps this would be a surprise, but Mother… does not enjoy meals prepared from the death of another creature. I do not mind it myself.

“Since the consumption of food amongst Makaijin is more ritualistic than necessary, we tend to indulge in meals that connect us to one another, or simply meals that we enjoy the flavour of the most.

I do not truly have a preference for what I prepare, because Mother's desire is my whim above all.

I have only tasted tea outside of Makai a single time… It is much different if that was any indication, and the textures of our tea tend to be much earthier.

There are some preparations that enhance that further. In any case, I prefer blends that are simple, and subtle in extra taste.”

“I have always preferred tea, though I usually drink alongside Mother, and occasionally I prepare myself a serving of what she wishes for. It makes me feel connected… I always crave that.

Our blends are all produced within Makai, and I believe they are distinct from the ones from worlds beyond.

“I have no care for it, for it is irrelevant to me in its entirety.

We have existed without attachment to Gensokyo in the past, and though I do not loathe it as much as I have before, I would still prefer to involve myself in limited capacity with it.

The world beyond that is just further burden.”

“Because any amount of leniency allows others to take advantage of you.

Ascertaining that there is a consistent pillar within Makai means that Mother can be more free to act as she pleases, as I can handle the more grim aspects of it all.

I am what I am, because I was born to be.”

// Despite Yumeko being… more than indisposed right now, I'd like to set up a little Q&A thing. Mainly to get me thinking about her more I guess…

So do send your questions if you have any, and I will endeavour to make the responses interesting! ❤️

It is still in my hands.
I can hold my blade forward, and I can steady myself. I can step force and slash through the darkness.

It stays there. It keeps crawling, closing in at every possible angle, wanting to leave only misery in my company.

I strike again.
Until I triumph.

Hah.

Even in death, I cannot stop the cravings. The desire to serve and fulfil the wishes of Mother pangs deep inside what remains of my heart and spirit.

I know what I shall do first if I return. I will supply her the finest treats…

A sorrowful moment it should not be.

I cannot ask Alice to save me.
I cannot ask Mother to save me.

It is not because I cannot trust them, but because… it would only cement the idea that I have weakened to Lady Sariel.

With how she has me ensnared, the challenge ahead is difficult.

But I must.

Mother needs me.

yumeko's day off #東方Project

// Thanks as always.

// Wish I could just keep going without feeling like I'm about to crash.
Someday I'll get it under control. I know I can.