Derek is Awesome

Dad would have turned 83 today. I still miss him every day, and always will. But every time I feel that ache, I’m reminded of everything he gave me: the steady support, the endless love, the stories that still make me laugh. Those stay with me. Always.

You were the best, Dad. You were the best dad.

There are so many drunk drivers out there, the only way to protect yourself is to drink and drive.

See how dumb that sounds?

It's the word "whatsoever" that pisses me off the most. It's so fucking creepy and gaslight-y. "Look at this hysterical f****t making claims. We were here, like, ten minutes later, and we didn't hear anything like that. Leave the evidence gathering to the pros, little lady." #FuckSanAntonioPolice

How about the evidence that his husband claimed the person who shot him yelled homophobic slurs before firing? What the fuck are they looking for? A spray-painted note saying "I killed him because he's gay?" Go FUCK yourselves, San Antonio police. You are the worst cops. And that bar is really low.

What to know about fatal shooting of 'King of the Hill' actor Jonathan Joss as co-stars pay tribute It remains unclear what prompted the fatal shooting of Jonathan Joss. The Native American voice actor is best known for his work on “King of the Hill.”

[1/2]
"While Joss’ husband has claimed the person who killed the actor yelled 'violent homophobic slurs' before opening fire, San Antonio police have said they’ve found 'no evidence whatsoever to indicate that Mr. Joss’ murder was related to his sexual orientation.'"

apnews.com/article/king...

We're dead center in Blanketville at BottleRock. Normally, something like this would fill me with all kinds of anxiety. But here, the vibe is chill, the music is great, the white wine is cold, and the people are very respectful. Also, I took my Adderall at noon. So this is fuggin' fine with me!

All set to watch Gary Mullen and The Works perform One Night of Queen. (Yes, those are little Brians on my socks.)

If you don't post stupid shit, people will leave you alone, you fucking idiot. Now, go choke on a Republican dick.

Ummm... that was my point. Generalizations like "liberals don't care for religion" or "conservatives are all racist" are ridiculous. And anyone who wasn't a complete and total fucking idiot would have seen that. To the remedial classes you go, ma'am.

Conservatives don’t care for black, female, gay, lesbian, or trans people I thought. Yall always say F them and shit on them.

See how fucking stupid you sound, you sloppy little cunt?

Also, poor vet tech lady who walked into the room while I was on my knees bent over Sawyer to stop him from trying to claw his own face off and got a fantastic view of my ass because said "fat guy" PJ pants have a real gravity problem. Glad I was wearing my skivvies. I'm sure she was glad, too.

Here's a photo of me at my best: wearing pajama pants that don't fit because I bought them when I was fat and a T-shirt soaked in dog drool after a 90-minute drive to the nearest emergency vet with capacity to treat a dog with porcupine quills in his mouth. Thanks, Sawyer!

(3/3) And that made me reflect a bit. Does that mean most of you aren't running around thinking "Oh fuck oh fuck what the fuck holy fuck oh fuck?"

(2/3) You know the one: rate how often you experience things like “feeling nervous,” “unable to relax,” “trouble sleeping,” etc.

I wanted to have a "Well, duhhhh" option for all of them.

(1/3) Here’s a “making mental health visible” post for you. Scroll on if that kind of thing makes you uncomfortable.

I’m in the process of establishing with a new therapist, and one of the forms they gave me was an anxiety screening.

"OUR" values? Don't you fucking dare speak for me, you complicit piece of festering dogshit.

How's that for a soundbite?

Are you ACTUALLY stupid, or are you just pretending to be to set the bar of expectations so low that we're surprised when you do something even moderately intelligent? Awesome job creating barriers to democracy, Mr. Democrat.

Fuck. I'm a twofer.

Or at the very least, they'd put us on restriction and give us EMD.

Oh. I've been calling him "Prison Pete." Mostly because of all the espionage.

I was just saying this to Chris last night that Maine is gonna be fucked this summer. Even a 10% decrease in tourism from Canada would result in tens of millions of dollars in lost revenue and loss of jobs in Maine's tourism industry. I fear we don't come back from this.

No... I'm responding to the post's claim that "meritocracy is the enemy of equity." It isn't. At all. We need to flip that around. The LACK of equity is the enemy of meritocracy.

My sentiments exactly. I love the spirit of the original post, but I think the logic is a bit flawed. This is not an "either/or" situation. DEI&B does not ignore or override meritocracy; it ensures it by breaking down implicit and explicit biases in candidate selection.

Always hit with at least three jokes. That way if one or two fall flat, you're still the funniest guy and nobody will make fun of you or shove you into a locker.

My favorite I've done is:

A photo of J.D. Vance, notable couch fucker, farting on a white chair while wearing pants Angus Young would likely reject as "too short."

The alt on that GIF is fantastic.

An esteemed group of individuals who have made gifts through estate commitments and are the bread and butter of our endowment growth and jesus christ I just bored myself into a coma.

(9/9) Now I'm just imagining all the CS reps and content team members walking around the office commiserating about how customers keep breaking into their code and changing all the sharps to flats and dotting notes that ought not dot.

Anyway, I still recommend it. Fun platform, plus gaslighting!

(8/9) So, I write back:

I'm not sure how it could possibly be a bug on my end. Your company programmed it. I didn't. The notes are wrong, as you can hear in the video I sent.

Pro tip: customer support should not involve gaslighting your customers.

(7/9) Derek, sorry for the delay. I reported the issue to the content team lead and her reply was:

"I just checked the bootcamp lesson, there's nothing wrong with it; perhaps it's a bug on they're [sic] end."