Sylvia Meretrix 🏳️‍⚧️

I‘ve reclaimed my name and everything I built before I burned out.

I’ve reclaimed my agency over my body and how much I loved it before I was violated.

I’ve reclaimed my confidence in how attractive I am after I convinced myself I wasn’t.

I’m gonna become so fucking powerful y’all.

Pain on its own will just make you suffer. Hope of things improving? That's what gets you to move.

The pain of how I've been was not enough for me to change. I needed something I wanted badly enough. I needed a reason to put the effort in. It was the same with transition and with smoking.

It wasn't about the pain of remaining the same. It was about believing that things could get better.

There’s a saying. "You won't change until the pain of changing is less than the pain of remaining the same." I don't fully agree with it. I think that sometimes you just need to find something you want badly enough. It's not about the pain. It's about the desire. It’s about the hope.

Oh that is an incredible photo and yeah I absolutely see why that one got you in a similar way.

That is going to be very important. Absolutely I need more time off social media anyway and water is good and I'm getting better at drinking it.

No. This is what it was when I realized to have the woman I was falling for, I’d have to quit smoking. This is when I see a concrete, obtainable goal as opposed to a nebulous "I will be healthier."

Actually like… having an epiphany here. This feels like when I figured out that I could write a book I just had to break it down into smaller chunks as opposed to thinking of it like writing a book.

I don't know. It makes sense in my head. Just feels like I finally have seen what I needed to see.

This is me but with good lighting. It’s me looking a bit more buff and a bit less soft, but still me. This is a version of myself that exists now, just highlighted differently.

Which means I can get this version. I don’t need radical changes. Just enough that this look is easier to see.

Seriously like… I’ve always vaguely felt like “I’ll be happier with my body if I work out more and eat healthier food. Will probably feel better.”

And then my head spun up impossible versions of myself. Versions of me that would require a time machine to obtain. So I gave up. But this?

I crave this energy. I yearn to feel like this photo all the time. I want the power I felt here.

… goddamnit I’m gonna have to start going to the gym again. I need to get buff to hit the energy I want. So I’m gonna have to go to bed earlier.

Welp, AO3's restored, so back to it!

Photo of a tufted titmouse sitting on a branch. They are small round seed-eating birds.

Photo of a secretary bird walking through grass. They have long legs and a streamlined, predatory look.

Okay so we all know that birds are just a type of dinosaur.

But.

All birds exist on a scale from bird to dinosaur.

Left: A bird shaped dinosaur. Right: a dinosaur shaped bird.

Do you understand?

Photo of Sylvia, a white trans woman, taken at a distance in a mirror. She is leaning against a door frame and the light is hitting her in silhouette in a way that gives her a menacing aura.

Okay I don't know what it is but I feel so fucking hot in this photo. The energy I am radiating here is immaculate and it's the kind of energy I want to bring 24/7.

My guess is they didn’t do that on the bonus sheet to avoid sneak/ninjitsu confusion… which is a shame because that would have gone hard.

Hey, you’re totally fine <3 if the flirting was unwelcome I would communicate it

"I want to be craved."

"Lots of people want you-"

"They desire me. I want someone to crave me. I want her to go feral over me. I want her begging for my touch, willing to debase herself for a glance. I want to be able to break her by making her wait."

"You want to be irreplacable."

"...shut up."

I… genuinely appreciate the confirmation, lol.

Note that this somehow does not stop applying if we are actively dating.

I cannot stress how much if you're waiting for me to "Get the hint" I probably won't. One of my partners was DMing me nudes for a year before I thought "Maybe she likes me" and even then I was uncertain.

Oh I absolutely feel that in my soul. It's getting better but...

"I want to be craved."

"Lots of people want you-"

"They desire me. I want someone to crave me. I want her to go feral over me. I want her begging for my touch, willing to debase herself for a glance. I want to be able to break her by making her wait."

"You want to be irreplacable."

"...shut up."

Oh you do know what a vaguely girl-shaped entity likes to hear.

Photo of the torso of Sylvia, a white trans woman, taken from a low angle with stark contrast in lighting.

Fuck I’ve got nice tits.

You look good admiring them from down there

Ahh, the corrupter becomes the corruptee.

it was the same argument as EOE ”it’s all this scifi stuff. I don’t want it in magic.”

Hypnotize a sub to A) get the puppy style zoomies whenever they hear me say "Fetch" B) forget that they have zoomies programmed.

Play magic. "Okay, so I crack an F-E-T-C-H land."

Sub: "Ha ha, I can be normal if you say fetch."

Me: "Fetch."

Sub: "Whosaidfetch? Wheresfetch? Woof!" *Nyoom*

Sets I’ve heard this about since I came back to the game (Forgotten Realms)

VOW
NEO
SNC
BRO
MOM
MAT
MKM
OJT
DSK
DFT
FIN
EOE
SPM
TLA
TMT

At a certain point it feels like Magic is ruining Magic

Still don’t know!