doctor parameter handler

i’m afraid that if i start hanging out with a man too much i will inevitably have to do my exfoliation and body care routine in front of him and that will give him a stroke and he will die and i will be charged with involuntary manslaughter

i have miso soup and fish at home though

god the thai restaurant next to my place is reopening tonight and i really want to go whale out

i really wanted to have a baby 😔

it’s breaking bad lmao

my Extremely controlling bitch wife won’t let me become a drug kingpin :-(

I’m so tired of lazy nonsense like this. The democrats are responsible for their lack of coherent governance in the face of fascism. The republicans are responsible for imposing the fascism.

lmfao i was gonna be like white people love always sunny you’re getting promoted 💅🏽 but alas

is your manager white?

low key idk what do about a person who i dated and “broke up” with on good terms because of distance, do we stay friends or should i just kill him?

right?? I did downsize tremendously to fit into my tiny paris apartment but I was comfortable the entire time!!

i think i made the entire move from texas to paris for under $5k and that’s including deposits

caleb hearon is no longer biphobic, the world we knew is dead. a new world must be born.

IM DEADDDDD

to be fair that was also another goblin involved in the same saga

imagine that but also make it like 80% of your personality, like when I first met this person they were introduced to me as “the guy who wants to move to vancouver”

i swear it was some tantric ass black magic that made me feel attracted to that goblin looking ass

one more day of 80+ temps and then i will be back to regularly scheduled mental stability

Racism.

this is exactly how math conference names sound to me

oh my god have we not suffered enough

i think i can conclusively say that a lot of my depression is due to alcohol usage lmfao sorry for getting #real

i wish i was a man… i would just take my shirt off for tiktok and immediately get a wife from the comments

cassie ho 6 minutes to sexy arms workout video, you will ALWAYS be a real one

i bed everyone else in there has a cooler set of 2 truths and a lie too it’s actually hell

god what if they ask for a fun fact, I would be screwed

i’m going to become such a woo woo spiritual girl now im gonna to become insufferable

y’all I just realized that almost two years ago i was manifesting being able to see a train from my apartment (except back then I wanted to live in an american city) and now this is the view from my window

i think i might have suffered the most out of anyone in this world

i’m dealing with baddies at an unprecedented scale during this time