THEJordonBrown

Couldn’t Sam Altman just ask ChatGPT how to make itself profitable

What would be at the top of your list of questions if you were in a Pluribus? Mine would be: Were any conspiracy theories true?

A million dollar logo for Austin that looks like shit

A better parody version of the shit logo where it says Audit instead of austin

After spending $1.1 million to get this turd of a logo, the city of Austin sent a cease and desist to Save Austin Now for using the parody version of the logo. Humiliating for the city. www.statesman.com/news/article...

The hands melting immediately after Trump didn’t send a delegate to the UN climate conference for the first time ever sure feels apropos

Young people simply cannot understand what the health care debate was like pre-ACA

(living an unexamined life) yaaaaaay haha yay wheeeeee

This one is for my fellow olds: HBO Max is now Qwikster

Are they going to rename HBO again?

Quentin Tarantino is so awful, Alec Baldwin has taken the moral high ground

Starting a prayer chain mlm for you

I double checked, and Sinners did, in fact, come out in 2025. So, if it’s not on your best of list, well………….

I’m sorry, y’all still care about Tarantino? The man made maybe 2 movies and just keeps repeating those, and defended Polanski by saying the 13 year old Polanski raped was cool with it.

I don’t care if he said he was wrong later.

Fuck that guy and fuck his mid ass movies.

How many times can you cast yourself as “white guy who says the n word a lot” before people start to wonder if you’re secretly bad?

Screenshot of Muppet Christmas Carol where Scrooge learns he’s the dead man that brings everyone joy but it’s Elon’s dumb face instead of Michael Caine

Made it to the All Her Fault finale. It might be the best unintentional comedy ever made

Update: It’s actually very dumb and not intense after like 45 minutes and gets sillier every episode

Did the people who lit Game of Thrones also work on All Her Fault?

Parker just asked if he could on his black pants so he could be “a fancy boy.”

A gosh darn delight.

i think the financial incentive to bait people into engaging with dogshit is a big part of how we got where we are.

Netflix has “coming soon” for more song videos for Kpop Demon Hunters which prompts my 4 year old to ask to check if the new videos are up yet roughly 19 times a day.

So, that’s fun.

YouTube video by Still Watching Netflix 'Forks Out': A Benoit Blanc Sesame Street Mystery | Wake Up Dead Man | Netflix

Sesame Street simply never misses: Forks Out: A Beignet Blanc Mystery youtu.be/gJxzhUAGBDw?...

I started All Her Fault, and I don’t know if I can handle this. I feel like my heart might explode and I’m like 20 minutes in.

Olivia Nuzzi’s book has a singular review on Amazon, and it’s 1 star

I don’t think anyone knows the answer because nobody read it

Periodic reminder that Pete Hegseth wasn’t smart enough to be on Fox and Friends during the week and was relegated to hosting the weekend show

PS I am thankfully not paying for this garbage.

If you want an update on the Lizza/Nuzzi of it all, in the last part he ended saying there was a secret recording of Trump discussing the Butler assassination attempt.

In the newest one he reveals that no one remembers what he said and that the recording was deleted.

Just absolute trash.

Comic, Page 1: P1: Outer space, showing several distant planets and a star, focusing on a foreground ringed planet that appears to have oceans and continents with large visibly man-made alterations, including bridges and a central trench of city circling the planet. Narration: "There are 11 billion sentient life forms on this planet. Uncountable artificial intelligences, consciousnesses stored in the core, more arriving every day" P2: A hand touches the top of an alien-looking casket. Narration: "One less, now." P3: The face of an alien person with an expression of grief, with pupil-less eyes, distinctive cheek markings, a metallic hoop around their neck, and a cloak, referred to from now as "MC". P4: Another person appears behind the first, with a floating holographic display of information in front of their face. Other person: "I take it you are aware of the duty the late Vhixyr is trusting to you?" MC: "Yes, I was told long ago."

Page 2: P1: MC is pictured silhouetted from behind, standing in front of a far-future city, full of other citizens and glass transport tubes in the sky stretching into the distance. Narration: "Out of over 11 billion, me." P2: (Blank) Narration: "Despite Vhixyr's insistence that I was just the best fit, I always wondered-" P3: MC's foot stepping on a panel. Narration: "I wondered if my dear grandparent harbored some secret resentment," P4: MC standing in front of a doorway, raising a hand to a glowing panel on the wall. Behind the doorway is swirling shapes and light. Narration: "...or if they just thought I was the only one who could forgive them for this life-long burden?" P5: MC walking on a transparent bridge through a void filled with swirling light. Narration: "But really, all that mattered-" P6: (Blank) Narration: "Is that there are five of them. ...of us."

Page 3: P1: Two arch-shaped desks with small cylindrical devices with 3 bulbs protruding from them, and a fan-shaped holographic display behind them showing a wave-form. MC: "I wasn't expecting your equipment to look so... ancient?" P2: A zoomed out view of the room, showing MC speaking to a larger smiling alien with an arch-shaped structure on their back, referred to from here as Council 1. Council 1: "For taking vibrations in the air. Ancient traditions, after all." P3: From behind MC, still speaking to Council 1, who is pointing at their own mouth. Council 1: "And I see you've been practicing your oral language!" MC: "No small effort - but we need to be able to speak this way for a full cycle after all." Council 1: "You get used to it." P4: Showing MC now. Council 1: "I trust you have now... viewed it, as well?" MC: "...of course." P5: Zooming out, showing both MC and Council 1, and another person in the back of the room by a large holo display. This person (Council 2) is slim, wearing a dark sleeveless shirt and a large brace over their shoulders. Council 2: "As of now, Earth has reached 89.3% of its sun-cycle." Council 1: "Then we will begin."

Page 4: P1: From left to right seated at the desk in front of holo displays, Council 2, Council 1, and a third Council member with a robe and a U-shaped brace framing their head, all with somber expressions. Council 1: "Today we welcome Thonriel, third grandchild of Vhixyr, to the order of T'ddub. Thonriel has the terrible and honorable charge of speaking first today, as our order convenes for audiograph number 0X7B65D. -ahem- So... what did you think?" P2: Thonriel (MC), wearing a grim expression and slamming their hand down on their own desk. "Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is still a bad movie."

The council convenes once more
#deathblart

For the last two months, I’ve been on family leave, and I just added my work email back to my phone. Devastating.

I thought the “be best, piggy” decoration from Melania was a nice touch

Anyone else feel like they missed an episode of The Chair Company?