Amy Probably

Sleep on it (-1 damage)

calvin: HEY DAD, I'M DOING A TRAFFIC SAFETY POSTER. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS FOR A SLOGAN? calvin’s dad: SURE! "CYCLISTS HAVE A RIGHT TO THE ROAD TOO, YOU NOISY, POLLUTING, INCONSIDERATE MANIACS! I HOPE GAS GOES UP TO EIGHT BUCKS A GALLON!" calvin: THANKS, DAD. I'LL GO ASK MOM. calvin’s dad: WHY ? THAT'S A GREAT SLOGAN!

every day he’s vindicated

I don’t need a hero I have friends and love

If you are pure of heart the sensors at TSA won’t go off even if you are absolutely loaded

Logging into my own Netflix account on the bar’s tv so that we can all watch my shows tonight

up next on the news hour, "Ass To Riches: How a pair of young men are changing the world with just four buttcheeks and a dream"

stay tuned

I mean if anyone can revive the Got Milk campaign it’s Nicole Kidman

horrors of the world and chill?

large replica skeleton with jeans edited on it. the skeleton is standing in a fenced off yard

do not come for my ass

coworker tries talking to me but it is 5PM!⚠️

Can’t wait to fumble another bad bitch tomorrow

You see me on a bike waiting at a stoplight. I have one of those see through bags they use for stadium events. You notice it is full of string cheese. My light turns green and I pedal away. You are left to wonder and appreciate.

Black guinea pig stands in the middle of a cage waiting for me to give her something. I won’t but she doesn’t know that yet.

Square up

no, it's gonna be huge. it's extremely violent. no, not monsters, turtles. they do karate and can talk. no they're human sized. their boss is a rat. yeah total nightmare stuff. grotesque is what it is. no we're gonna make it a kid's show. sat mornings yeah. yes the talking brain will still be in it.

"subway takes" no. no no no. subway gives. the subway gives us so much

I’m no longer scared I’ll come out and say it

I hate ham

WAIT I can iron my fabric by heating up my frying pan...life hack

A seven nation army is currently beating the shit out of me

Little do they know what number comes next

at the airport i always take the first suitcase that comes out of the carousel. i ain't waiting for all that.

bobby hill sitting on his bed, hands folded on his lap

no breakfast, pouring my third cup of coffee this morning

the orange that’s been sitting on my desk all week:

True mutuals won’t understand why your pfp looks like that and are too afraid to ask this late in the game

Wanting to leave a legacy 🤝 not investing in friendships and comminity

MEN

👏 REPLICATE 👏THE 👏 CONDIMENT 👏 COW 👏 AT 👏 THE 👏 COLUMBIA 👏 CENTER 👏 DINING 👏 COURT 👏

I came here to drink milk and make mistakes and I’m all outta milk

Vaping into this harmonica for audio and visual presentation

Sun Mad At Us For Not Praising Her Enough. Threatens Us With Daylight Savings 2.0

Seattle Street Alliance Logo Tell Me What Secrets Are in the Bag Of The Person Walking The Crosswalk on The Left