nick

Anytime I have even a sip of wine, I start thinking like one of the real housewives

can emails stop happening at me please

i’m beautiful and i’m normal not many could say this .

how to know u had enough gatorade is your sweat comes out orange

i need like noise cancelling but to cancel other people's perception of me in the environment

today we listen... to lady gaga

my eyelashes have one job and it's to keep shit out of my eyes. yet every day there's an eyelash in my fucking eyes. i'm about to cut them all off

why is everyone on earth at the gym rn. every single machine full. what if i walk around with my fists grazing the ground like a gorilla honking at all of you until you leave

thoughts and prayers

french is such an oily language

everyone else is down but i still you!! ik you can't see the comments but they are Flowing there are so many people

a gray tabby cat with wide, curious eyes is sitting in the passenger seat of a car, secured with a seatbelt. The car seat has a two-tone design in black and light gray. The cat appears calm and slightly alert, giving a humorous impression as if it understands the importance of car safety

passenger princess

bed full of pillows and an ikea shark the same size as me oh Yeah we are living the life

there should be a word for emotionally itchy

listening to a podcast in the gym bc i'm so unwell i'll crash out if i put on Any music is a new experience for me

Trying out a new cleanse where I shock myself with chlorine like you would a swimming pool

she said she loved me but she also put her dishes in the sink right next to the open empty dishwasher so idk

I have selective hearing. I’m sorry you were not selected

Standing outside your window holding a rotisserie chicken above my head.

made two batches of lemon cookies! on an unrelated note, guess how fast i can eat 48 cookies

we live in a society???

Sometimes irl it's enough to just sit and make random noises for a while. Don't let people brainwash you with all that "art of conversation" elitist bullshit

Prescription strength peanut butter

2003 is gonna be my year I can feel it.

Every time you repost Me, an angel gets laid.

i wash my hair in cold water now too so it's like a horrible baptism