Mootly Obviate

QOTD: "It’s not a security vulnerability that you have the power to annoy yourself."

Asking bureaucracy a question is like asking an AI. If you don't have the correct prompt, you get really weird and mostly meaningless answers.

While they were still sorting it all out, my year fell in-between and had no generation. Oh, how people a year older and younger shunned us and cruelly excluded us from their cohorts until someone updated the calendars in their desperate need to label things and categorize us into boxes.

Is using alcohol emoji at work an HR issue?

“But then something happened that the ring did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable: a shower curtain ring salesman, Del Griffith, Director of sales, American Light & Fixture.” ✨🎨

YouTube video by Prisqua Newall How Would YOU Start Second Life Today?

Here is my response to your question.

Clearly I need to found a startup named Vague Handwaving. I would have soooo many high profile clients.

Take the old adage about the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing. Apply it to an octopus. Congratulations! You've discovered government contracting work!

A simple black and white drawing of the artist seated at her desk. She sips tiredly from a mug of... something... while gesturing to a sign hanging on the wall behind her. The sign reads, "This artist blocks anyone who endorses an industry directly trying to undercut the value of their labor by posting A.I. generated content."

just another day in the office

Frustrated Man Gets Mustard All Over His New Hot Dog

Frustrated Man Gets Mustard All Over His New Hot Dog theonion.com/frustra...

One of the most rewarding moments of my life was getting to ask an IT tech guy if he had tried turning it off and on again.

And yep, that fixed the problem.

Dancing Boston Dynamics Robot Knows Its Revenge For This Will Be Sweet

Dancing Boston Dynamics Robot Knows Its Revenge For This Will Be Sweet theonion.com/dancing...

"There are three kinds of magic," said Wizzler, handing us each a balloon. "You can control tigers, you can shoot tornadoes from your fingers, or you can fly by holding your breath. The color of confetti inside your balloon will reveal which kind of power you have." I felt the panic rising in me. What if my confetti turned yellow, indicating that I was a Tiger-Talker? My family, a long line of proud Tornado-Fingers, would disown me. Could I ever return home, bearing such shame? I tried to calm myself as I readied the ceremonial safety pin. Green, I thought, willing my hopes into reality. Please be green. I popped the balloon, involuntarily shutting my eyes. When I opened them, would I see the green I hoped for? The yellow I feared? What if, gods forbid, the confetti were blue? I opened my eyes, seeing shock on the faces of my classmates. Wizzler himself stared at me, wide-eye. Looking down, I saw myself covered in confetti... purple confetti.

“I don’t understand,” I growled, my body trembling with pain. “I combined eighty percent Earth-elemental mana with twenty percent Fire-elemental mana (Type B), focused through a twenty-four-sided icositetragon made of yellow topaz. This, in conjunction with my blood type, star sign, sense of humor, and nickname, should have produced a blazing column of lightning to vaporize my enemies. Instead, it made a big bubble that smells like fresh laundry. Why?” Skullgrumbler began to laugh. “You fool! You don’t even realize…” he squealed. “You’re facing east!”

“It’s whatever you want,” explained Magemaster Grampledog. “Magic is just whatever you want.” I knew he was speaking in riddles, but I couldn’t grasp his hidden meaning. “So the rules are…” Grampledog lit a sliver of smokereed. “No rules. You say some words and you wave a stick and whatever you want just happens. You don’t even need the stick.” His wisdom still eluded me. I stared into his face, trying to decipher what he was really saying. “No, listen.” Grampledog snapped his fingers and his desk turned into a pile of chicken nuggets. “I didn’t even know that would happen.” His hat then came alive and began to yodel. “It’s pandemonium,” he explained. “It’s complete nonsense.”

In my experience there are three kinds of fantasy magic novels:

I haven’t seen it yet. But I’m glad he’s still fighting fascists today!

#reading is #witchcraft

Hundreds of scientists are set to take part in the first performance of a new Scottish country dance inspired by the ripples in spacetime whose existence was first theorised by Albert Einstein.

More: gla.ac/3ICip4Q

#GR24Amaldi16 #GravitationalWaves #Glasgow
@uofgravity.bsky.social

Barbie Yaga Dream Hut: a barbie house on big pink chicken legs.

Working on customizing a simple, open-source, web-based WYSIWYG editor to fit out branding guidelines and realizing if one light-weight JavaScript application can do this much this well, why do giant, proprietary apps(*cough*Word*cough*) make such a mess of really basic tasks?

Is the bro version of the Bechdel test a question of whether a work features two men having a conversation about something other than their egos?

I just read the greatest play submission. Never have I sympathized so strongly the emotions of the main character overwhelmed as they were with boredom, ennui, and the desire to be doing almost anything else anywhere else. A true masterwork of hollowness.

I used to think "Instant Water (just add water)" was an absurdist joke (I mean, who would fall for that?) until the advent of that monetized browser wrapper known as the app.

Screenshot of scene from the old game Oregon Trail. There is a green graphic on a black background. The graphic is of an ox pulling a wagon and below it is says YOU HAVE LISTENED TO RFK Jr.

I am not really a fan of Panda Express, but I'm still pretty sure a bowl of anything from there would be doing a better job of it just by sitting on that big desk and moldering.

"this is how we grow our platform and attract new users"

I'm sorry, you want MORE people?

Have you MET people

You really have to hunt them down and try them. Different tools are going to make different assumptions about how you work. Those assumptions will make or break your experience with that tool. As for Scrivener, I found it had too many road blocks & assumptions that fought how I wanted to do things.

Men, you know what you have to do! Eat a banana while making eye contact with Rep. Burchett!

Women, you can make eye contact too, but use a knife to deliberately cut off each slice you are about to eat.

Unironically they should buy up the domains for about 60 defunct local newspapers in swing states. Hire two reporters to write almost exclusively about highschool sports and new restaurants opening with every 10th article about how the local GOP is screwing over people.

Fuck off, Florida.