John Linen

Was "newbie jeebies" intentional or autocorrect?

40 years ago we’d have congressional hearings falsely accusing metal bands of putting backwards messages in their songs that told kids to kill themselves & now we have a planet-killing chatbot that’s all like “bet you won’t commit suicide chickenshit bitch” & the government is like here’s $5 billion

Jive-ass Variety ain't got no brains anyhow.

I still try to mask in public, but it does make it difficult when you feel stressed and need some deep breathing.

It's a shame that Southwest is getting rid of unassigned seating because I will no longer be able to watch some attractive woman come down the aisle and have her face fall as she realizes the only open seat is next to my bald, lumpy self.

"We goin' Sizzler, the best Sizzler, White Men Can't Jump, the late great Wesley Snipes, 'Always bet on black,' treated very unfairly by the Japanese, very unfairly by Sylvester Stallone, all restaurants were Taco Bell, that Sandra Bullock, what an attractive woman, driving that bus..."

There are times I am very envious of only children.

Mortadella Labe.

My apologies to Jackie Fox, if she's on BlueSky. (I knew Vicki Blue very briefly around 1997 and she was cool, so that's my Runaways six degrees.)

I was mistaken, I either mistyped or got autocorrected to Jackie Fox. Which is a relief because I was upset that one of the Runaways would have such bad taste.

I think she was a member of the Runaways.

Not the wed one! Don't ever push the wed one!

Woohoo!... mutter mutter...

You can have the wacky Daffy, I'll take the bitter and cynical Daffy.

The local creep where I grew up wasn't very good at adulterating Halloween treats. He'd hand out candy with Bic razors in it.

Two modern day trunkless legs
Mean, mean stare
Today's Ozymandius
Look on and despair

Therapists should list their interests and conversational quirks so you know whether they'll understand your pop culture references or why you put everything in complex metaphors.

"More seldom than not, the movies gives us exquisite sex and wholesome violence, that underscores our values. Every two child did. I will."

(And am I going to read the Wikipedia article about spontaneous human combustion after making that joke instead of going to sleep? Why, yes, I think I will.)

Unfortunately mine was struck with a case of spontaneous kettle combustion.

Qué sabroso.

"I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl..."

Sad that I had to scroll so far down in the comments to find this.

One of the greatest NewsRadio bits was Bill and Jimmy passing each other and saying "Morning, Ralph." "Morning, Sam."

I remember my roommate introducing me to it as "the coolest grocery store in the world," just around exactly 35 years ago. Sadly, the first one I ever shopped at - in the shopping center just to the west of the Warner Brothers studio in West Hollywood, CA - is no more.

One of the finest moments for a Generation Xer on social media is when someone writes a "Hey, do you remember this?" post and you can genuinely say, "No, I wasn't born yet."

More like haggis.

I'm 57 and I doubt I'll ever afford anything in California near to civilization.

The logic is he is still waiting for a spine donor.

@schiff.senate.gov Once again, I regret ever voting for you.