GoodGirlEsq.

I’ll sleep when I’m dead, and also when I’m tired. Or scared. Basically any excuse I get

Just thinking about when I had chickenpox and some kid’s mom called my mom to ask if she could bring her kid over for a chickenpox party. My mom’s response was essentially “my child is SICK!!!!!”

Sleepy

ummm hey me and the other crabs in the bucket have noticed that ur actually getting near the top. and like sorry but that's lowkey problematic :/ bc like we'll still be in the bucket :(( sooo yeah if u could maybe take accountability and get back in the bucket

There will never be another Christmas like the Christmas when I had chickenpox. My parents woke me up in the middle of the night to try give me medicine. When I resisted they told me Santa told them he wouldn’t bring my presents unless I took my medication.

Attorneys when they get to discovery phase and see what their client said in group chat after they insisted on not settling

If you have a super early morning meeting you’re allowed to get a little Starbucks treat. It’s the law.

this week

What’s a hobby?

But not even in a bad way for the most part. But it’s been a lot.

This year has been…………………….

A lot?

It really was my favorite time of year growing up! Trying to get the joy back

Reese’s Pieces are a fun little snack

Okay it’s not like I don’t work weekends anyways but I’m in a mood!

“Take off 8 days” aka not physically go to court but otherwise still be on call

I fucking hate this time of year. Dragging my ass to the finish line and working weekends so I can…take off 8 days?

My brain is melting

“You can earn that conviction at trial then” is typically my response.

It’s so funny how prosecutors will cavalierly say things that sound shockingly like they think they’re entitled to convictions.

If at first you don’t succeed, try being annoying again.

*being annoying

😭

Because annoying is a skill you can harness and use to your advantage with great success.

Once the hustle and bustle of the week is over and the adrenaline has worn off, I just sit in a dark room and ponder everything that’s ever happened

I don’t get night the Sunday Scaries I get the Friday Night Scaries.

Tfw you send a bunch of sad texts to multiple friends last night but now you’re fine after sleeping and everybody is still silent because you were acting really weird

Don’t try new things. Trying new things is bad. I tried a new nail color and it’s awful.

They can’t pardon a turkey who committed state level crimes

You make one little snippy tweet about MC libertarian types being dumb and scores of men get their feelings hurt.

Now I’d just be happy if I could get three nights of good sleep in a row

lol imagine being stressed back in the days when a true break existed!!!