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Gabriel Morton

@gabrielenguard.bsky.social

A slapdash attempt at the slipshod. I am writing about every episode of The Simpsons. I have played every DOS game. Read here: https://keepetclassy.com/authors/gabriel Watch here: https://www.youtube.com/@KeepetClassy/streams

1,095 Followers  |  633 Following  |  5,960 Posts  |  Joined: 07.02.2024
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Posts by Gabriel Morton (@gabrielenguard.bsky.social)

The Adventures of Pete & Pete - Season 2, Episode 12: Yellow Fever

The Adventures of Pete & Pete - Season 2, Episode 12: Yellow Fever

10.03.2026 00:31 β€” πŸ‘ 6    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
The Adventures of Pete & Pete - The Burping Room

The Adventures of Pete & Pete - The Burping Room

10.03.2026 05:50 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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"So you spent 20 million dollars?"
"Yes"
"On Umbrella Bioweapons?"
"Yes"
"To start a Eurodance DJ duo?"
"... yes"

10.03.2026 11:34 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
The Adventures of Pete & Pete - Season 1, Episode 3: The Nightcrawlers

The Adventures of Pete & Pete - Season 1, Episode 3: The Nightcrawlers

10.03.2026 11:16 β€” πŸ‘ 9    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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In my search for actual info on PS2 piracy rates I saw several academic articles mentioning the US had an overall 46,4% piracy rate...

I got for the source and it's a random 1-page article in a 2003 Canadian magazine that doesn't even give a source... πŸ’€

10.03.2026 11:18 β€” πŸ‘ 27    πŸ” 2    πŸ’¬ 5    πŸ“Œ 0

SiIvagunner has produced four Childish Gambino related Yoshi rips in the past 7 hours

10.03.2026 05:20 β€” πŸ‘ 5    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

tim drake: i just don't think it's asking too much to put your drinks on a coaster. and to not leave your guns on the table.

jason todd: mmm. tim?

tim: what.

jason: you watched a lot of Arthur growing up, didn't you?

tim: how the hell could you have known that.

10.03.2026 06:08 β€” πŸ‘ 79    πŸ” 15    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
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He was just a baby 😭 with a gun

09.03.2026 22:53 β€” πŸ‘ 4073    πŸ” 852    πŸ’¬ 18    πŸ“Œ 2
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amateurjournalists A place for all those who love writing and telling stories. In reference to a fellow redditor in Resident Evil Requiem.

Some fun loving people went and not only made it a real subreddit but actually made the posts we see in Grace’s sidebar too πŸ’–

10.03.2026 10:41 β€” πŸ‘ 4    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Camhack’d view of Grace’s laptop during the 2018 flashback, revealing that she’s on r/amateurjournalists in a discussion about the Dulvey cover up (Resident Evil: Requiem, 2026)

Camhack’d view of Grace’s laptop during the 2018 flashback, revealing that she’s on r/amateurjournalists in a discussion about the Dulvey cover up (Resident Evil: Requiem, 2026)

Learning that not only does Reddit exist in the Resident Evil universe but that Grace is a Redditor is boggling my mind lmao.

05.03.2026 03:08 β€” πŸ‘ 49    πŸ” 6    πŸ’¬ 8    πŸ“Œ 2

I bet if Akuma did the thing to me with the four big kanji it would feel incredible. I think it would totally work out all the kinks in my back

10.03.2026 08:17 β€” πŸ‘ 231    πŸ” 57    πŸ’¬ 6    πŸ“Œ 1
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Dragon Ball Z: Taiketsu is a very bad fighting game.

But the development team absolutely knew ball because why the hell does Raditz have Mai Shiranui's Houou no Mai

10.03.2026 04:13 β€” πŸ‘ 241    πŸ” 60    πŸ’¬ 11    πŸ“Œ 2
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10.03.2026 02:28 β€” πŸ‘ 73    πŸ” 26    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
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Dude I’ve never been more hyped for a Mario game

10.03.2026 07:23 β€” πŸ‘ 246    πŸ” 44    πŸ’¬ 9    πŸ“Œ 2
Photo of a vhs for an episode of the Animorphs tv show that features a boy transforming into a dog. Titles and copy read 

GOD’S PUNISHMENT 

NOW YOU EAT DOG SHIT 

the inner thoughts of the child float around his transformation, they read:

What’s happening?
Sure could go for some dog shit
I eat dog shit now?
What did I do?
Wish I was eating dog shit right now

A promotional graphic proclaims

A boy turns into a dog and eats dog shit for lying 

Part 1 the sins of children series

Photo of a vhs for an episode of the Animorphs tv show that features a boy transforming into a dog. Titles and copy read GOD’S PUNISHMENT NOW YOU EAT DOG SHIT the inner thoughts of the child float around his transformation, they read: What’s happening? Sure could go for some dog shit I eat dog shit now? What did I do? Wish I was eating dog shit right now A promotional graphic proclaims A boy turns into a dog and eats dog shit for lying Part 1 the sins of children series

Back cover copy for NOW YOU EAT DOG SHIT

SOME PEOPLE
NEVER EAT DOG SHIT...
SOME DO.
God can see and hear everything
so when Kevin and his friends decide to watcha PG-13 movie when they were supposed to be studying God knew he would have to punish Kevin since it was his house. The next day before school Kevin suddenly morphs into a dog and runs outside to look for dog shit to eat.
He eats all the dog shit in the neighborhood and the neighbors give this hungry boy a round of applause for cleaning up the place. But when he morphs back into Kevin they are all disgusted. They call him Dog Shit Boy and tell him to stay the hell away from their dogs' asses. Every few hours Kevin turns back into a dog to eat more dog shit.
The only way Kevin will be free of God's curse is to figure out what he's being punished for, but if he can't do that before midnight he'll eat dog shit for the rest of his life!
THIS TAPE CONTAINS THE EPISODES
"DOG SHIT BOY" AND "GOD'S GUN"
PARTS I AND II
PRODUCED BY PAPERBACK PARADISE
A DIVISION OF PAPERBACK PARADISE ENTERTAINMENT

Back cover copy for NOW YOU EAT DOG SHIT SOME PEOPLE NEVER EAT DOG SHIT... SOME DO. God can see and hear everything so when Kevin and his friends decide to watcha PG-13 movie when they were supposed to be studying God knew he would have to punish Kevin since it was his house. The next day before school Kevin suddenly morphs into a dog and runs outside to look for dog shit to eat. He eats all the dog shit in the neighborhood and the neighbors give this hungry boy a round of applause for cleaning up the place. But when he morphs back into Kevin they are all disgusted. They call him Dog Shit Boy and tell him to stay the hell away from their dogs' asses. Every few hours Kevin turns back into a dog to eat more dog shit. The only way Kevin will be free of God's curse is to figure out what he's being punished for, but if he can't do that before midnight he'll eat dog shit for the rest of his life! THIS TAPE CONTAINS THE EPISODES "DOG SHIT BOY" AND "GOD'S GUN" PARTS I AND II PRODUCED BY PAPERBACK PARADISE A DIVISION OF PAPERBACK PARADISE ENTERTAINMENT

09.03.2026 21:16 β€” πŸ‘ 350    πŸ” 94    πŸ’¬ 7    πŸ“Œ 5
star trek themed doctors office that looks very like much the TNG/VOY era consoles. there is also a cardboard cutout of seven of nine!

star trek themed doctors office that looks very like much the TNG/VOY era consoles. there is also a cardboard cutout of seven of nine!

one of the waiting chairs that looks like the bridge of the enterprise-D’s navigation console except that the chair is black.

one of the waiting chairs that looks like the bridge of the enterprise-D’s navigation console except that the chair is black.

im at the eye doctors. there is a doctor here who has a whole ass star trek themed setup

09.03.2026 21:30 β€” πŸ‘ 374    πŸ” 82    πŸ’¬ 27    πŸ“Œ 17
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Ada Wong

10.03.2026 01:00 β€” πŸ‘ 262    πŸ” 66    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 1
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Here is today's addition to:
That was Donato Giancola??
My first video game cover barely a year into my professional career. Created for the (un)forgettable game
'Revengers of Vengeance!'
What a title. What quotes. What type design. A few more fonts could have been used...

10.03.2026 03:13 β€” πŸ‘ 137    πŸ” 19    πŸ’¬ 5    πŸ“Œ 2
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The dialogue in β€˜PokΓ©mon Pokopia’ πŸ˜‚

10.03.2026 03:09 β€” πŸ‘ 561    πŸ” 88    πŸ’¬ 8    πŸ“Œ 9

Ah shit, I'm back on the wheel.

10.03.2026 08:10 β€” πŸ‘ 4    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

"You belong to us. You shall be like us."

10.03.2026 08:09 β€” πŸ‘ 6    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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Finland is an amazing place.

10.03.2026 05:03 β€” πŸ‘ 182    πŸ” 56    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 1
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I don't usually post show promos but man, remember when Pat Sajak tried to be a talk show host for like five seconds? And the only memorable part was when Rush Limbaugh guest hosted and the audience heckled him so mercilessly he had to do the guest interview and final segment from an empty studio?

10.03.2026 06:28 β€” πŸ‘ 106    πŸ” 7    πŸ’¬ 8    πŸ“Œ 0
wikipedia header for the article for "I've got your nose"

wikipedia header for the article for "I've got your nose"

oh no! wikipedia!! give it back!!!

09.03.2026 21:16 β€” πŸ‘ 258    πŸ” 49    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 1
A picture of Marco Rubio shoes that are too large for him

A picture of Marco Rubio shoes that are too large for him

I’m a grown man who works for the president of the United States who is afraid to not wear the shoes he bought me that do not fit

09.03.2026 18:01 β€” πŸ‘ 10647    πŸ” 1860    πŸ’¬ 740    πŸ“Œ 451