Snitchanon

"Cool halloween costume, I guess?" he replies. "Can I take them off, now?"
I scream in rage, push a bunch of glassware off a bench, and go back to the forcefem drawing board.

"So," I ask the latest AI clone of one of my male friends, "how do you feel about the dress?"
"Kinda breezy," he says. "Can I put some trousers on?"
Clenching my teeth, I follow up. "What about... the cat ears? The stripey socks?"

You don't understand. I can post a banger *whenever I want*.

I'm only not posting a banger right now because I *choose to hold back*.

99% OF BINARISTIC THINKERS QUIT COMING UP WITH BOXES TO SORT PEOPLE INTO JUST BEFORE ESCAPING THIS FALLEN WORLD AND ASCENDING INTO THE PLATONIC WORLD OF FORMS.

"Just attribute anything to an old dead guy, no-one will ever check since no-one's read the book"

-Karl Marx

Deep in my mad science lab coming up with a term to annoy everyone, I present you:

TMÆ

"Never distract your enemy when he's jerking your ween"
-Sun Tzu

If You Build It, They Will Cum: Why the Circlejerk over Superhuman AI is Honestly Quite Onanistic.

It's an oft-repeated topic, here at Snitch Industries, but people are very very stupid and annoying about the Evils of the Machine.

I wish they weren't.

Evil warlock tried to blight my crops but given that I neither farm nor own a farm, only managed to slightly wilt the spider plant I keep on my windowsill.

"So when you're docking with another vessel, the seals need to 'mate'. Yes, I understand it's a funny word. So, to make sure you're getting the best 'mating press'-"

Been labelled an enema of the state.

So I invented the torment nexus but it turns out that one person's hell is another's heaven because this is pretty great. Idyllic, even. They should call it the bliss nexus. Oh, there was a novel about that, too? How'd it go?

There's been an intensely boring accident at the ennui factory, I'm not sure I have the will to go on.

She memento on my mori till I die.

My evil genetic experimentation has created a population of parrots that understand YTPs.

They're out there demanding a crackalackadakalacker with extra freerf.

Oh, and here's are the testicular brothers, here to tell us where pee is stored!

No forcefem, we die like men.

Sorry, someone was spreading stupid and fearmongering misconceptions about AI again, so I've gotta break the fingers of another three beautiful #humanartists.

It's for the greater good!

What's my sign? Sorry, I don't believe in Homestuck.

Given Heraclitus's philosophy of the world in an endless state of becoming, but never of being, that "a man cannot step in the same river twice", I propose that all stories, and in fact all narratives of any kind, are actually a form of isekai. Furthermore-

Stubs my toe so hard my leitmotif goes into minor key.

Woke Moralists have accused me of gnawing through the roots of the world.

Not to brag, but I'm the least problematic creator of queer media in this crab bucket.

You think my posts are bad? You haven't even seen the bad things I don't post.

For maximum security, I keep the deepest secrets of my mind palace past the area where I keep the psychosexual fantasies about tentacle gnomes.

Oh no, I'm late to the rapture!

[I vanish, and the piece of toast I was holding in my mouth flops mournfully to the floor]

Oh, it's the rapture today!

[my potted succulent vanishes in a flash of light, leaving everything else unchanged]

Huh.

"I'm the angriest crab in this tar bucket!"

-half the users on this site, I swear.

Mad At You Island is one of the few non-extraditable jurisdictions left in the world.