Skip “Skippy” Skipperson

Laws don’t matter anymore, so I’m gonna go ahead and trust a big butt and a smile.

wearing Christmas balls at the end of my braided pigtails to draw the right kind of weirdos into my orbit

Would you care for a Ferrerrerrerrororor Roshay, my dear?

I get it. You just don't like MY posts. Jerk.

fucking Wednesday, man

Paying it forward by setting up the coffee maker for Tomorrow Morning Me.

Nothing like walking outside into 5 degree weather to remind you that you haven’t trimmed your nosehairs in a while

Posting bad so when I whip out a good one you're all like "oh, damn."

Look out, the Lords in the closet trying to sneak a peek!

The "v" in "cleavage" is there as an example.

*seductively sprawled out nude on the couch, telling her breakfast is served - and she says she‘ll just have a cup of coffee*

I’m too tired to think of anything clever just sit on my face already.

Look, don’t read too much into it. When I think about ANYTHING I touch myself, OK?

Cum all ye faithful…

Lick it after you stick it, you coward

Kind of bullshit that this game, and by extension the playoff races in the AFC and NFC, may be decided by a player, Sullivan, who was not even on the Chargers roster this morning.

You wanna get out of here? Maybe we could go back to your place and role play an awkwardly erotic conversation while brewing a pot of Folgers coffee?

The numbers on the Monsters U players shoulder pads are upside-down. I sure hope somebody gets fired for this blunder.

🫠

Kiss me, I’ve satisfactorily performed the duties of my job this year.

Things really started going downhill in this country when people at parties stopped loudly exclaiming that they wanted to dip their balls in various items.

this place is filled to the brim with dirty birds and scallywags

a close up of a man 's face with a plaid vest Alt: From the sensual thriller “I Think You Should Leave”. This guy used to be a piece of shit. Oh, yeah. Slicked back hair, white bathing suit, sloppy steaks, white couch... You would have not liked him back then.

Guilty

Reel Cat Fish

The Replytasters

Big DM and the Kids Table

🎶 I wanna know what muff is
I want you to show me 🎶

I would pay good money to have a lawnmower put in front of that fuckwit and watch him fuck about trying to figure out how to start it.

Tweaking the nipples of fate

My favorite is the panic caused by my brain worrying that we MUST be forgetting something important, simply because we’re not currently panicking.

Wow, those sweatpants are really flattering your figure today, sweetcheeks…

The President of the United States unilaterally levied a tax on all of us and is redistributing our taxes to a core segment of his supporters.