Aleksander Constatinoropolous

🏡✨ Jesus’ Lost Parable of the HOA Jesus returns with a lost parable for modern suburbia. Turns out, your ego is the HOA of your soul—always petty, never satisfied.

“The kingdom of heaven is like a Homeowners Association: everyone wants green lawns, no one wants to pay dues, and your ego still calls the cops on your joy.”
👉 www.virginmonkboy.com/p/jesus-lost...

The rally chants “respect authority.”
But prophets made careers out of mockery.
They stood in the king’s face and laughed.
Authority hates a holy heckler.
Empire always tries to criminalize compassion.
The gospel belongs in the streets, not the palace.
Blessed be the ones who march with psalms.

🛡 Psalm 20: The Prayer Before the Battle Before the fight begins, this psalm is a blessing. Not for victory at any cost—but for clarity, courage, and the kind of help only Love can give.

Not all battles are loud.
Not all victories wear crowns.
Psalm 20 is the quiet blessing before the fight — where courage is clarity, not conquest.

www.virginmonkboy.com/p/psalm-20-t...

#Psalms #MysticTwitter #VirginMonkBoy #SpiritualPoetry #InnerSanctuary #ModernPsalms

Not everything needs to be wrapped in reflection.
Some hours are for letting dusk finish the prayer.

If your only miracle tonight is letting the day end without explanation, it counts.

—Virgin Monk Boy 🌆
#VirginMonkBoy #SacredRest #HolyDusk

The Supreme Court Will Now Hear Arguments on Whether Love Needs a Permit When faith turns into a rebranding of shame, the courtroom becomes the new confessional—and love stands trial for existing.

The Supreme Court is debating whether love needs a permit.
If “healing” means erasing who you are, it’s not therapy—it’s idolatry.

Read the full scroll:
👉 www.virginmonkboy.com/p/the-suprem...

Not everything needs to be carried into evening.
Some hours are for setting it down before it breaks you.

If your only miracle today is ending before you disappear, it counts.

—Virgin Monk Boy 🌇
#VirginMonkBoy #SacredMercy #HolyRest

🌞📜Psalm 19: The Sky Still Speaks Psalm 19 reminds us that revelation isn’t locked in books or sermons. The sky preaches. The sun sings. Wisdom whispers not just in words but in wonder.

The Psalms don’t just shout from pulpits—they shimmer in the sky.

Psalm 19: The Sky Still Speaks 🌤️
God’s first sermon was a sunrise.

👇
www.virginmonkboy.com/p/psalm-19-t...

#Psalms #MysticChristianity #VirginMonkBoy #ContemplativeChristianity #SpiritualPractice

Not everything needs to begin at full speed.
Some hours are for arriving slow and steady.

If your only miracle this morning is beginning without betraying your peace, it counts.

—Virgin Monk Boy 🌅
#VirginMonkBoy #SacredPacing #HolyStart

Not everything needs to be gathered before the week begins.
Some hours are for letting what’s whole stay whole.

If your only miracle tonight is letting peace last five minutes longer, it counts.

—Virgin Monk Boy 🌆
#VirginMonkBoy #SacredRest #HolyDusk

Not everything needs to be prepared in advance.
Some hours are for trusting the in-between.

If your only miracle today is not rehearsing the week ahead, it counts.

Not everything needs to become something.
Some hours are for being instead of becoming.

If your only miracle this morning is being here without striving, it counts.

—Virgin Monk Boy 🌅
#VirginMonkBoy #SacredEase #HolyRest

Sean Feucht raised millions “for ministry.”
Ex-staff say the money mostly served his ego.
When pastors baptize checks but not their conscience, the water runs foul.

“Reclaiming the Bible” is just polishing the cage.
The mystics and women were cut out on purpose.
The Gospel of Mary wasn’t lost — it was buried.
Blessed be the ones who restore what empire erased.

They Chant “God bless America.”
But the prophets shouted “woe to nations drunk on power.”
Blessing without justice is a curse in costume.
Empire blesses bombs as if they were bread.
Patriotism makes idols out of armies.
God is not a mascot for nations.
Blessed be the ones who bless with equity

Charlie’s gone a week and Erika’s already back on the mic, smiling for the brand.
Jesus wept. Influencers monetize.

The Monk Who Achieved Enlightenment in a Taco Bell Drive-Thru A monk spent 45 minutes in a Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a Chalupa that never came. Instead, he found enlightenment between three hot sauce packets. Craving, waiting, disappointment—samsara has n...

Enlightenment doesn’t always come on a mountain. Sometimes it comes between “mild or fire sauce?” 🌮🔥

Read The Monk Who Achieved Enlightenment in a Taco Bell Drive-Thru:
www.virginmonkboy.com/p/the-monk-w...

#Satire #Spirituality #TacoBell #Enlightenment #VirginMonkBoy

Charlie Kirk’s “college” gives you a diploma in Hot Air Studies.
Jesus taught for free. Kirk charges tuition for grift.
If wisdom could be bought, billionaires would be saints.

The flyer brags “family values.”
But it only shows one kind of family.
At Jesus’ table, the guest list kept growing
until counting people mattered more than classifying them.
Family became whoever showed up hungry.
Values are not yard signs.
Blessed are the ones who keep adding chairs.

The rally cries “Jesus is King.”
But kings conscript, tax, and exploit.
Jesus washed feet instead.
The cross was His only crown.
Empire never understood that kind of rule.
Authority trembles at servanthood.
Blessed be the ones who crown the servant.

Everyone says “God is on our side.”
But God doesn’t endorse platforms.
If heaven votes, it’s always straight ticket compassion.
Blessed be the ones who canvass with kindness.

Everyone says “freedom of religion.”

But they mean freedom for their religion.

Theocracy is just fascism in choir robes.

Blessed be the ones who refuse altar-call dictatorships.

The Soul Is Not a Dropbox Folder Modern spirituality loves to treat the soul like a Dropbox folder—preloaded, waiting in the cloud. But the wisdom traditions say otherwise: you don’t start with a soul, you make one. This essay explor...

The soul isn’t cloud storage.
It’s not your “authentic self” on standby in the sky.
It’s the residue of a life forged in fire, distilled by presence & surrender.

👉 www.virginmonkboy.com/p/the-soul-i...

#Mysticism #SoulMaking #ContemplativeChristianity #Sufism #CynthiaBourgeault #VirginMonkBoy

Everyone says “God, Guns, and Country.”
But two out of three ain’t gospel.
You can’t serve both the Sermon on the Mount and the NRA.
Blessed be the ones who keep their swords in plowshares.

🕊️Psalm 18: The Rescue That Remade Me A raw psalm of survival. Psalm 18 doesn’t preach—it testifies. It remembers what it felt like to be drowning, and the shock of being pulled out by Love.

When the flood rises and your voice is barely a whisper, Psalm 18 reminds us: Love still hears. Love still reaches. And yes—Love still rescues.

🪬 Read: www.virginmonkboy.com/p/psalm-18-t...

#Psalm18 #MysticChristianity #PsalmsReimagined #SpiritualRecovery #ModernPsalms #ContemplativeChristianity

When Jesus, Rumi, and Elvis Went to Yoga When Jesus, Rumi, and Elvis show up at a yoga retreat, stillness turns mystical, spinning defies gravity, and sweat accidentally launches a billion-dollar fitness craze.

When Jesus, Rumi & Elvis hit a yoga retreat:
Jesus prays. Rumi levitates. Elvis sweats so hard he invents hot yoga. Mary Magdalene strolls in to remind them who the real teacher is.
www.virginmonkboy.com/p/when-jesus...

#Satire #Yoga #MaryMagdalene #SpiritualComedy #Rumi #Elvis #Jesus

Jesus, Rumi, and Elvis Walk Into a Karaoke Bar “What happens when Jesus, Rumi, and Elvis hit the karaoke stage? Hymns remix into club anthems, poems get spun into the disco ball, and rhinestones prove enlightenment can wear blue suede shoes.

Jesus, Rumi & Elvis walk into a karaoke bar.
One spins, one preaches, one lip-syncs—and somehow it still feels like Sunday service in Vegas. 🎤✨

www.virginmonkboy.com/p/jesus-rumi...

#Satire #VirginMonkBoy #Karaoke #SpiritualComedy #Elvis #Rumi #Jesus

Funerals, Fake Science, and the Five Stages of Grift From funerals turned pep rallies to vaccine panels run like conspiracy cosplay, this week America proved grief can be merchandised, medicine can be improv, and satire is still the only honest diagnosi...

Funerals turned pep rallies. Science turned improv. Grief merch’d & sold at the cult gift shop. America’s week in absurdity:
www.virginmonkboy.com/p/funerals-f...

#Satire #MAGA #Trump #ChristianNationalism #PublicHealth #PoliticalHumor

From Eros to Agape: Magdalene as Model of Love’s Trajectory Falling in love is the training ground. Mary Magdalene shows how desire, lived and not hoarded, ripens into a love that widens, heals, and carries resurrection.

Love isn’t a Hallmark card. It’s a trajectory. Magdalene shows us how eros ripens into agape when you stop clutching & start recognizing. Presence over possession.

www.virginmonkboy.com/p/from-eros-...

#MaryMagdalene #Agape #Eros #LoveBeyondControl #MysticChristianity #VirginMonkBoy

Saint Paul, Snake Road, and the Laugh Track Gulag: Notes from America’s Absurd Revival Cardinal Dolan canonizes Kirk, ABC hands late night to Kash Patel, and snakes in Florida show more dignity than America’s so-called leaders. Saints, martyrs, and mayonnaise all take the stage in this ...

Cardinal Dolan canonizes Kirk. Posobiec preaches fire safety. Kash Patel does late night. Meanwhile, snakes in Florida keep more dignity than our leaders.

virginmonkboy.substack.com/p/saint-paul...

#VirginMonkBoy #Satire #CharlieKirk #FreeSpeech #MAGA #PoliticalHumor #Substack

The Ten Commandments Rebooted Texas, Louisiana, and Arkansas want the Ten Commandments in schools. Virgin Monk Boy delivers a reboot instead—stone tablets updated for 2025: no canceling comedians, no firing journalists, and defini...

Texas, Louisiana & Arkansas want the Ten Commandments in schools. Fine. Virgin Monk Boy brought down the rebooted tablets:
✘ No canceling comedians
✘ No firing journalists
✘ And for God’s sake—no pineapple on pizza.

👉 www.virginmonkboy.com/p/the-ten-co...