Christopher Monks

Well, at least we still have Jared Mc....

And/both.

“Some scientists are saying that you can take bleach and inject it right into the economy. You can also hit it with a tremendous ultraviolet or very powerful light. Thank you for your attention to this matter!”

You're kind to write this. I had to delete my post because I left the writer's name in the screenshot. Mondays amirite?

Email from someone telling me to "Fuck off" after I rejected their submissions.

Well, at least take heart that your reply is the closest your writing has ever been to Larry David's. #WelcomeToTheJerkFolder

The covers of three books. Left to right: Gandolfini: Jim, Tony, and the life of a legend, about the late Sopranos actor. The cover shows Gandolfini looking shy, peering offscreen with one unobstructed eye and another that peeks out between the fingers of his right hand. CENTER: The cover of Cinema Her Way, a coffee table book by Marya E. Gates about female directors. On the cover is actress Michelle Rodriguez as the boxer heroine of Karyn Kusama's sports drama Girlfight, about a woman boxer. RIGHT David Hockney's painting collection The Arrival of Spring in Normandy, showing a painting of a verdant field. In the background of the field is green grass. in the upper foreground are the branches of a tree sprouting white, cottony buds.

A screenshot of the pre-orders section at mzs.press. Three screenshots of books that have not yet been released. I Am The Night, Daniel Dockery's book about Batman the Brave and the Bold, has a silhouette of Batman stretching from the top to the bottom of the cover, with the title of the book and a nighttime Gotham skyline circumscribed by the borders of the Batman silhouette. CENTER The cover of The Ring Cycle, Matt Zoller Seitz and Odie Henderson's book on the Rocky and Creed films. The cover is white except for a pair of black boxing gloves floating there RIGHT The cover of Documentary Now!, the 600-page, 7-pound coffee table book celebrating the aforementioned IFC Channel series parodying classic documentaries.

Screenshot of three books carried at mzs.press arts bookstore: LEFT: Cover of Lead Sister, a biography of Karen Carpenter, featuring a closeup of Carpenter playing and singing with The Carpenters. CENTER: The cover of Anthony Hopkins' We Did OK, Kid, a memoir of his life and career. On the cover is Hopkins in closeup as he looks presently, narrowed blue eyes looking directly at the spectator. RIGHT: Cover of Louis Armstrong In His Own Words, a collection of the bandleader's correspondence. The cover image is a photograph of a probably fortysomething Armstrong seated at the wooden desk in his office where he often wrote letters.

Screenshot of the covers of 3 books carried at mzs.press Arts Bookstore. LEFT: The cover of Gotham City Cocktails, a book of mixed drink recipes inspired by Batman. Art deco-style flowing border lines flow around and around the interior of the dust jacket. At the center are drawings of two tall cocktail glasses and between them, a shot glass and a tumbler with a sword-pierced cherry in it. CENTER: The cover of Downton Abbey Afternoon Tea Cookbook. Green cover, white writing and graphics. The central image is a teapot with stem lines coming out of it, and at the pot's base, a teacup and saucer and a separate plate of biscuits. RIGHT: Bob's Burgers "The Re-Recipe Box," a set of recipe cards inspired by the joke hamburger names featured on the small board at the front of Bob's joint. Red sides with small graphics, cover image of the restaurant.

Greetings, new friends! You may know me as an author, a prolific Bluesky poster and 4th place finisher on So You Call That Dancing? But you might not know that my partner Judith (@mzpress) and I have an online arts bookstore that's growing every day. Full inventory here: mzs.press/EVERYTHING-W...

Trump wearing a ball cap, greeting the soldiers he was responsible for getting killed in his stupid war.

No one telling him what a doofus he looks like in a ball cap is the longest prank in history.

WRONG TOO

Sixers' game about to begin. So to my existential angst.

Easily one of my top ten all-time pieces we’ve published.

if ur in this video call me #dating #love #comedy TikTok video by Gabrielle Kennedy

If ever I wished a TikTok were a McSweeney’s piece. www.tiktok.com/t/ZTh7wX9pJ/

Trump’s leader-decapitation strategy may be working - The Boston Globe It’s time to realize the real lessons of Afghanistan and Iraq.

This war is less than a week old. www.bostonglobe.com/2026/03/05/o...

And, of course, they win.

Am suddenly overcome with a soul crushing sense of dread. What has become of this life? Why can’t I… oh, wait, sorry. Just realized I am about to watch my Sixers.

RFK Jr. wants Dunkin’ to prove drinking its iced coffee is safe - The Boston Globe The warning comes as Kennedy is leaning heavily into his agenda to improve American diets.

The news story that launched a thousand McSweeney’s submissions.

www.bostonglobe.com/2026/03/04/n...

The next season of “Industry” looks great.

Yikes

FIFA to 'monitor developments' in Iran ahead of 2026 World Cup FIFA will "monitor developments" in Iran following the outbreak of military action by the United States -- the co-hosts of this summer's men's World Cup -- against the Middle Eastern nation.

This is a much smaller issue, of course, but if any other country had violated international law as much as the US has over the last year, it would be banned from international sports competitions.
www.espn.com/soccer/story...

Having edited the piece, I don’t claim to be, you know, super objective here, but this is one of the funniest pieces we have ever published.

Lemon I arrived 10 minutes early and Oren arrived five minutes late. Oren I arrived a minute after the reservation time. The host, who thought I was still waiting for my date to arrive, told me to wait. I clarified that I was on a blind date and then was led to my seat. Lemon I value punctuality and would have liked being given an explanation or a quick apology.

Oh no
www.bostonglobe.com/2026/02/27/m...

Helped out on this, it’s a super funny and beautiful book.

New Protein Menus Brands like Chipotle, Dunkin, and Starbucks have started offering new protein-dense menu items. Here are more companies making exciting protein-bas...

Here's @meganamram.bsky.social on some very important new developments in the protein-sphere.
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/new...

This guy gets it.

Haven’t had to be this hunky in a long time.

They always win when I do this.

Time to hunker down. Just hunker down and hunk it out, hunks. #Blizzard

A sudden wave of sadness and fear overwhelms me. What has become of this life??? Why has it turned into such A DEFEATING SLOG??? .... Oh, wait... Sorry... It's just time for another Sixers game.

I LICK-HE-BOOM-BOOM-DOWN, TIM.

"Iran poses a threat to global order by way of its damaged but abiding nuclear ambitions, its deep strategic ties to Moscow and Beijing, its persistent threats to maritime commerce and its support for international terrorism."

"And it’s a mortal threat to the life and safety of its own people, many thousands of whom it slaughtered last month. There was a time not long ago when Americans, both left and right, cared enough about human rights to believe it could, in some circumstances, justify military intervention."

Brett Stephens' latest Times op-ed, making a case for bombing Iran, could just as easily be about the US.