Anon Opin

Game shows should, by and large, be 30 minutes long. This nonsense of bringing back old game shows but stretching them out over an hour has got to stop - it makes them slow and unwatchable.

The best computer in any sci-fi film or series is the one in John Carpenter's Dark Star. Shout outs to Orac, HAL 9000 and Holly.

Electronic road signs showing your speed should be harder hitting. Instead of a sad face if over the speed limit it should say CUNT.

Extendable dog leads should have a crank handle on them so you can reel the dog in.

Dictionaries are the enemy of language. Words don't have definitions. They have meanings. Those meanings both can and should be imprecise and fluid, just like the humans who use the words. Therefore, the best dictionary is actually a thesaurus.

Tim Davies getting the sack for not being right wing enough is legitimately hilarious given he was handpicked by the last Tory Govt for the role and has spent his entire time at the beebs pandering to Reform. The Labour govt will definitely pick somebody even more right wing.

Nothing tastes weirder than a different toothpaste

When one of your parents die, the grief is bad enough but this is compounded by how awful our probate & power of attorney processed are. It's like, we know this is bad for you but we're now going to pile on the pressure, confusion and bureaucracy to see if you can take it.

There is nothing more frustrating in the modern work environment than watching someone try to do something with a spreadsheet while sharing their screen on a Teams call.

Often wondered when my "old man hates new tech" moment would come, approaching 50, thought maybe I was immune. But AI-generated music is it, apparently. Utter soulless slop, polluting my playlists. Burn it all.

I'm not saying that the world's first trillionaire is a miserable git but there's no love, beauty, joy, enthusiasm, silliness or fun in his social media feed.

The theatre element of GCSE English should be expanded to include study of sitcoms as a form. No-one should leave school without understanding the sitcom structure and how it differs from the structure in a standard drama.

Ask a terminal cancer patient what matters most. In most cases it won't be a new car or a big follower count or their team winning the league. It will be time spent with friends, family, and nature

Your dog is frightened of fireworks? I don't know why. The fireworks are only being friendly.

We need a national campaign to encourage people to get over their embarrassment and recycle their sex toys responsibly.

Stewart Copeland is the coolest member of The Police and I will be taking no further questions on this matter.

The *only* reason I keep paying for my TV Licence is that I don't want any chance they'll get a search warrant on my house. I don't need a license, quite legally, but my house is so untidy.

People in tv fiction use each other's names in conversation far more than people do in real life.

Leonardo DiCaprio replacing Ewan McGregor in the film The Beach (2000) after the fallout between Ewan and Danny Boyle completely ruins it. The French couple would never have gone near an annoying American backpacker. And Daffy would have headbutted him in real life.

The old Izal rough/smooth toilet paper should be resurrected and placed in all public toilets. That way people will appreciate the joys of quilted luxury when they get home.

The correct order to watch the Star Wars movies is 4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 6. Turns the prequels into essentially an extended Vader backstory flashback sequence.

With all the fighting in the world over religion it is about time atheists become less apathetic and start knocking on doors spreading the word that sky fairies do not exist

Fireworks should only be sold 3 days a year. Diwali, Bonfire Night & New Year's Eve. No one wants to be hearing them for up to two weeks after each event. Especially animals.

Falklands War veterans are as old now as WW2 veterans were in the 1980s.

Why are there lots of porn stars called Devon but none called Dorset? It's not right.

If somebody asks you what superpower you want, the only acceptable answers are flight or strength. Literally everything else is for perverts

Chewing gum manufacturers should have made gum that biodegrades into soil after a couple of weeks.

It's a real shame that no-one publishes a 3D map of our cities that shows the underground as well as the surface. Seeing the tunnels used by pedestrians, trains, roads, clean water, sewage, gas and electricity would be great. Hidden infrastructure that needs to be seen.

It's weird and ignorant as well as obviously misogynistic that a certain kind of man uses the word "pussy" to describe weakness, given the resilience of the organ during e.g. childbirth. Whereas testes are fragile & easily damaged. So they should be saying "bollock". The dicks.

The transition away from the older Micro USB and Mini USB to USB C is almost complete. So it's time for a new form factor. Let's call it USB D and force people to buy lots of new cables again.