Anon Opin

It's obvious that absolutely no actor on this planet knows how to drive. They take their eyes off the road for far too long, every single time. Someone who actually knows how to drive wouldn't do this, even when acting.

Cars should show performance in miles per litre. We stopped filling up in Gallons 40 years ago

You have to admire The Rest is Entertainment's devotion to utter landfill television.

In every meal, there is The Bite. Never the first, sometimes the last, but somewhere in there is The Bite in which all the flavours of the meal are present and profound. During The Bite, it's important to slow your chewing, take a breath through the nose and close your eyes.

What an awful online culture SEO and the pursuit of clicks has created. For example, I'm so fucking sick of the neverending drive to make YouTube thumbnails as eyecatching as possible. They've now just devolved into gurning competitions between self obsessed creators.

Other people in the family group chat hate it when you say happy birthday/anniversary to another person in the group. Send the message to them directly instead of making a show because you said it first.

There should be hang-out places for kids to go that their parents pay for by subscription. Then the kids can go there unlimitedly, and parents aren't handing their kids money they could just go and spend on less wholesome things. Parents would love this.

Getting into a cold bed is always much nicer than getting into a hot bed.

There's nothing more satisfying than turning up to a Park Run in Primark trainers and an old t-shirt and beating some tosser in all the pro running gear. You don't need to spend a shitload load of cash, just put one foot in front of the other.

Bowie's best barnet was the Station to Station era.

Personal assistants are just childminders for rich adults who can't look after themselves without mummy to help them.

The new "spatial scene" feature in iOS 26 makes everyone in your photo look like a cardboard cutout. It's a bit like the cartoon people were from the eighties version of Paddington from the BBC. I'm old enough to remember this yet can still use a smartphone, by the way.

The verse melody of Shania Twain's "Man! I Feel Like A Woman" is a direct lift of the verse melody of Aerosmith's "Uncle Salty" from their Toys In The Attic album.

Airlines have it arse backward. Bags in the hold should be free and any case brought into the cabin should be charged.

Chips and eggs is better tea than chips and steak. You've got to be a bloody terrible cook to ruin eggs but even an average cook occasionally ruins a steak.

Camouflage gear for fishing is ridiculous. The fish don't have periscopes. You're just hiding from your wives.

The words desert and dessert are too similar in spelling, while different in meaning. We should borrow the ß from German and spell dessert as deßert. This would make things easier for everyone and let restaurants make their menus more pretty.

Flies are cunts in general. But the most cuntish thing they do is play their version of Ding Dong Ditch on people. Where they repeatedly and purposefully fly in front of your face like "Woo-hoo! I'm still here motherfucker" before disappearing again. Their extinction is overdue.

London is 31 miles across at it's widest point, please take note Ebay sellers who list "Collection Only", location as just "London" sellers.

The most unrealistic thing about zombie films and books is that nobody seems to have heard of zombies before. And yes, this is way more unrealistic than zombies themselves.

Cockneys rave about traditional Pie & Mash. However, I tried it once with 'liquor' from an authentic East End outlet and I thought it was disgusting, probably the most bland meal I've ever had.

UK 3-Pin plug sockets should be fitted with the two holes at the top - 90% of things you plug in are used above the socket.

I'm not sure why anyone would buy a product that's being advertised by the voice of Philomena Cunk.

There's no situation in which choosing to listen to the second Stone Roses album is a good idea, even though it's not as terrible as its reputation suggests. Just put the first one on again.

Star Trek TNG would have been a hell of a lot better if Jordi had spoken with a Geordie accent.

Every motorway service station should have a 5-a-side football pitch. The score should be continuous throughout the day with travellers swapping in and out via infinite subs.

The speed you can stop caring about a societal problem after it no longer affects you is scary. I still care about everyone being able to buy a home but it's not at the front of my mind since I bought. Scary to realise the difference in mindset between have & have not.

Too many platforms display times and dates as relative. "1 year ago" could mean anything from 365 days to 730 days ago. Instagram is the worst with their "137 weeks ago" nonsense. Who refers to anything like that? Just always show me the date and time.

Tradesmen - if a job is too small or you just don't fancy it, say so rather than promising to come round and then ghosting

Never trust someone who doesn't have a bookcase in their home.