Jacob Hatton

Bring back Newsjack

Luckily the terrible image was stolen this morning

You just can’t see them as fans of Ori and the Blind Forest can you

As an addendum, you shouldn’t lie about your height or who you are to get a date, but also as someone who is over 6’ tall I don’t think a lot of people really understand how tall that actually is. If you’re say, 5’3” I literally tower over you.

Essentially it’s entirely about online dating, not meeting organically - where you can filter by age and also, height - and that a significant (something like over half) of women on dating apps have theirs set at minimum 6 feet tall, so a lot of men simply lie about how tall they are

Had to cancel my WIP after low ticket sales. Boo. Got on at Camden Comedy Club instead. Absolutely roofed it. 🤝

Suspicious I call it

You’ve finally arrived, but our records don’t show from where

Not racist just don’t like ‘em (outlanders)

… The government hasn’t received the fine but they have received a card saying “Sorry we missed you”.

Studio laughter

Ian Hislop leaning back in his chair

The Dune one is absolutely insane - voice actors switch in and out like tag teams with no possible congruence between them

Congressman “Randy Fine”

- but the fact is the incentive is too strong not to, for someone holding onto a lot not to speak to the only thing that will give the appearance of listening and talk right back

On a different level, someone I really like, whos has been really going through it, I know for a fact has been using Chat GPT like a sort of therapist. And I can’t even tell her just how bleak that is and potentially dangerous -

On the one hand I wonder if I’m a better messenger than some - I’m into finance, I’m not particularly left wing. On the other hand, if they (some of the smartest people I know) are edging close to or outright saying “yeah but it’s all Jews” then what does that even matter

Something I’ve seen is that people who have gone down that road are increasingly aggressive about. I deeply regret not being more confrontational early with a couple of people I know - I don’t know that it’d make much difference but at least I’d know I’d done what I could

One final thought is the sheer volume of fumbles from us is insane. I don’t think I’ve seen a team fumble the ball this much. Lamar definitely does it more than most QBs when he feels he needs to make something happen, and that’s definitely trickled down to everyone else -

I stg we could have been in it if he’d started after half time

Cooper rush was abysmal and Snoop might not be all that, but it was so obvious the second he came on that a player who can replicate a kind of Temu version of our normal offence is much better than an offence lead by Some Guy

The most dismal part of that game was that the overall plan wasn’t horrible, the Ravens were absolutely in it and the defence played like they wanted to prove something

Return to “we didn’t order chicken! Not a problem, we’ll pick it out”, return to “I’ll be about five minutes mate”, return to “fiver off if you come pick it up”

This is relatable to me, an idiot who does everything last minute

Unsolicited Slick Rick

Even though he fought for the enemy (horses), I will always raise a toast to those who put it all on the line to serve

I know these two are just playing Minecraft and shit, no chance they’re signing in for a bit of Hollow Knight: Silksong

Return to “we didn’t order chicken! Don’t worry we’ll pick it out”

This is what I believe.

Awoken confused due to daylight savings time you consume ultra strength cannabis, when the blur subsides you find yourself being interviewed by civil servants from Prevent, such is modern Britain

Prim primmer

Who got the keys to my bymer