soph

what is this from

……..-.-

every time i see a tree thats turned bright red with fall im reminded of how much i love it here

i want pancakes

WOW....👀👀👀

i miss her

i feel like i spent the last two months in a slowly escalating manic episode

Dreamflasher

open.spotify.com/track/75Wgg4...

i want to be held

im not doing too well

Tomorrow is Perfect

open.spotify.com/track/5wbrVI...

i wont be using this app anymore. all i do is post about how i became mentally ill as though that justifies what i did. it doesnt. nothing can justify what i did. i dont want forgiveness or to make amends. i just dont want it to ruin every single memory.

im sorry that im mentally ill

i think this is the worst episode ive had in my life

i hope you can be happy and you get to have everything you always wanted. im sorry that i did this. im sorry that this is how things ended. i love you so much. i wish i wasnt like this. it wasnt you. the moment that my brain shifted something like this was going to happen eventually.

doesnt play very well with the quasi mania

really bad time to realize that actually i just really like uppers

nothing feels real

all i want is alcohol and more stimulants

i had a bun to eat yesterday and ive had nothing to eat since. i didnt eat half of my breakfast and dinner the day before. i didnt ear breakfast the day before or the day before that. i dont know whats wrong with me.

i wish it didn’t change how i felt. i wish it didn’t happen when i was in an episode like this. i wish it didn’t take so long.

i had to push and push and push for things i wanted and by the time that it finally felt like i was being pulled, i just felt so so tired

i wish i could be the woman you thought i was. i wish i wasnt mentally ill. i wish it didnt take so long. i wish i could get over the things that hurt me so badly. i tried so hard. it just took so long for it to feel like we were on the same side.

i cant ever just be normal its always “i sit at home and do nothing and have no energy almost every single day” or “i need to crash out i need to crash out i need to crash out” i dont know whats wrong with me

i feel like i am the least stable that i have been in my life for the past month or two. i just feel so untethered and disconnected and its so hard to control myself. i feel like ive been getting 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night since the end of july.

maybe i should just kill myself

can i steal this

i think shes gonna kill me for being so annoying

i think that enshittification as a term that encapsulates the process by which monopolies or cartels leverage market dominance in order to maximize profits is pretty useful, generally