Middle aged white men (and I’m 49, so I’m in the demographic) absolutely need ridiculous Dad Hobbies or they get squirrely. I think if you’re can’t prove you have a preexisting Dad Hobby or 2 by age 45, you get entered into a national hobby draft and get assigned one. It would solve so many things.

I wouldn’t even bother getting a new pope. He’s just gonna die like the other ones

Any museum can be an interactive museum if you have the courage

Portland Fundraiser TONIGHT for hollamentors.org !!! Line up is insane/Please share!

What I keep coming back to is: people who are sticklers for rules need to be put in charge of enforcing rules. It doesn’t matter who’s in control of capital if the rules society agreed upon are being ignored. (Also, people who are sticklers for rules can’t be bribed if bribes are against the rules.)

Looking on the bright side I've always wanted to read the sequels to John Steinbeck's books

More and more things make sense today when you think, "does the person doing this think GTA is real life". It sucks and I hate it

People are losing the spirit of the Ides of March. It's not about just stabbing. It's about coming together to stab in groups

Back in my day the only way to get music from the Creed tree was to go out there yourself with a spile and hammer, tap it, and collect the sap in a jar. Then you'd have to take it to the apothecary and pay to have your sap pressed into vinyl. Now everything's woke instead

Hot tip: The electorate doesn’t like politicians because they retroactively change positions to last year’s dementia grandma Facebook meme.

They like people who proactively take stands. That’s what people mean by strength.

It’s almost irrelevant what you’re talking about. Nobody likes a worm.

gag in the first wayne's world movie where he's interviewing a local sponsor and holding up 3x5 cards that seem to be normal interview questions, but the side the camera sees has things written on them like "this man has no penis" or "he blows goats, I have proof"

the same scene continued, this time it reads "sphincter boy --->" pointing at the guest

if all you're going to have is little signs, make it worthwhile

Weird thing about Ash Wednesday is there's not a lot of seasonal porn for it

Those movies are basically diagnostic. Sadness is my girl, and lewis black is my lodestar.

two carnivorous mammals of the subfamily Lutrinae in a steeply angled water-filled chute

🎶 you know the day destroys the night
night divides the day
tried to run
tried to hide

BREAK ON THROUGH TO THE

Beaker as Dua Lipa on the cover of Elle magazine.

just over here photoshopping muppets onto the cover of elle magazine: thread

Check out @roywoodjr.bsky.social stand up special Lonely Flowers. Funny as hell and cheaper than therapy. Just watched it tonight and highly recommended.

There has never been a better time to open a crappy amusement park where the rides kill people

I'm struck by the near-total failure of leadership across civil society, in a country that fetishizes the concept. Whole sections of leadership books at every bookstore. Named, endowed "leadership" institutes and curricula across higher ed. Awards and special recognition for "leaders." AND YET

An image of me pointing to a closet full of Enfamil cans of various types and colors.

If you're struggling financially due to government fuckery or for any reason really and you need infant formula talk to your pediatrician we can hook you up and don't like to ask questions.

30 days hath September, April, June and November. All the rest have 31, except January 2025 which has 2,847 days