Conrad Zimmerman

If your opinion or analysis of the possible merger situation with Paramount and Warner Bros in any way involves being either happy or upset about the possible future of any single entertainment property, you might be part of the problem.

Yeah, I was actually just confusing Denise Richards with Jeri Ryan; the fact that there was a completely different Denise who was deeply disrespected by the writers on a Star Trek show is just a coincidence.

Well, not *just* a coincidence.

Absolutely. I don't think it's really even this specific message that would prompt such a reaction, as much as recognizing that they're losing control of the interview, which puts them at risk in a live context.

It really is fascinating how overt it now is that there are certain - really not controversial - ideas that you aren’t allowed to say on television.

How much would Valve have to do to create feature parity with Discord? I was just thinking about how many of the features I don't care about that they already share.

I used to think my generation didn't have the kind of senseless war in which we threw hundreds of thousands of kids into a meat grinder, breaking the spirits of those it didn't kill. But it turns out that they just told them to learn to code instead.

I wish all laid off game devs not just a very money, but a very let's destroy Silicon Valley. A very take back the means of production. A very fuck you capitalism. A very sustainability and improving lives

And it doesn't create the space to argue, "well, this billionaire is one of the good ones!"

Like, ooooh, you gottem! They're all gonna be real ashamed about being associated with that pedophile they were all quite clearly unashamed of being associated with.

I don't think I've ever gotten sick of hearing a phrase quite as quickly as I have "the Epstein class", and I can't help but imagine people nodding their head in smug satisfaction after hearing them say it.

I never thought Praga Khan would make it to the Olympics, but here we are. Dreams do come true.

That might be the primary reason, but I'm utterly convinced these are secondary benefits they're taking advantage of to maximize profits.

Or with an FTC who gave a shit about anti-competitive practices.

If I were Proctor & Gamble, I'd be pissed as fuck about this kind of thing, but I don't know if there's anything they could realistically do about it.

By leveraging shoplifting paranoia, they've managed to create conditions by which they can market higher margin product by inconveniencing customers who would prefer the major brand. And this provides more incentive to keep staffing low, as longer waits for assistance increase odds of a sale.

Because you're forced to wait, you have time to make the comparison between the two products and come to the conclusion that the product is comparable, costs 20% less, and -- perhaps most important -- you don't have to wait for it.

It's kinda fucking brilliant when you think about it.

Let's say you have a head cold and you want to purchase some Vicks® NyQuil™. You go to the cold/flu section and find the Vicks® NyQuil™ products are secured in a locked case, requiring that you press a button to call for an employee to open it.

You know what isn't secured? CVS brand alternatives.

I've had a nasty head cold this week, which has made me unusually cranky, and I just had an experience at my local CVS that I have to rant about for a moment.

So, you remember how everything in drug stores started getting locked up a few years ago? I'm pretty sure CVS is fucking over major brands.

I wanted to post this for the new episode, but I get the link may have gotten lost in the awesomeness.

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Maybe, but it would always be his second choice and I think that would low-key torment him. Time travel is risky, there's no guarantee that the changes you get are the changes you'd want, so I think it should only be used for the most petty of things.

If I had a time machine, I would make a small investment in Apple in 1978 and establish a trust to use the dividends for the sole purpose of squatting the domain 'x.com' in perpetuity.

Been fascinating to watch it go through the stages. The amount of gambling promotion they've been doing the last year on YouTube was bleak enough.

It's a tank with "BIG CHUNGUS" painted on its barrel. Warner Bros. should sue.

At some point today when you're holding that phone, maybe take a little time to consider your notifications. Ask yourself:
Was any of it time-sensitive and in need of immediate attention?
Would it have been fine to open up the app and find the things later?
What can I turn off?

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON This cartoon has four panels, each showing a different scene. In addition, there’s a small “kicker” panel under the fourth panel. PANEL 1 The panel shows a counter at a fast food restaurant. We can see a couple of customers, and a couple of workers. The workers are wearing hats that very vaguely resemble hamburger buns. A sign on the wall shows a smiling hamburger with eyes, below the caption “Soilent Green YUM.” A smaller sign says “SAFETY” in larger letters followed by tiny print, which says “is a word we use a lot so you can’t sue us.” The worker at the cash register is turning to speak directly to the reader. WORKER: To get an official photo I.D., I have to go to the nearest government office, which is 90 miles away, and I don’t have a car, and even if I did my boss won’t give me a weekday off. PANEL 2 We’re in what looks like someone’s back yard. In the foreground is a garden, with some sort of plant being grown in tidy rows. An elderly woman is kneeling on the ground in front of the garden, wearing a floppy straw hat, an apron with a floral patter, and holding a trowel. She speaks directly to the reader. WOMAN: I can’t get I.D. without a birth certificate. But when I was born home births didn’t get birth certificates. PANEL 3 A mover wearing jeans and a black tank top is carrying a sofa as he’s talking to the reader. MOVER: The state charges $60 for a driver’s license…. but first I’d need a copy of my birth certificate, which is $30. I can’t afford 90 dollars to vote! PANEL 4 This panel shows the interior of a coffee shop. A man and a woman sit together at a table. They're both looking at their devices, him annoyed, her dismissive. MAN: Why wouldn’t anyone be able to get an I.D.? Idiots! WOMAN: People like that don’t deserve to vote. SMALL KICKER PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE CARTOON The man from panel 4 yelling at Barry MAN: If it’s easy for me it must be easy for everybody! That’s just science!

How Hard Could Getting Voter ID Be?

Read more cartoons! ---> #PoliCartoon
Help us make more! ----> patreon.com/barry

And all that's before you consider how much worse the economic recovery from COVID might have been. Would probably have flipped everything to Dems, though it's not as if the track record on Dems holding both Congress and the White House (or on learning lessons in general) inspires tons of hope.

You can absolutely stop there and never read another Dark Tower novel.

You can absolutely stop after Drawing of the Three. Okay, The Wastelands, but that's it...

If you want to, go for it.

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