Thee Matt Lydon Writes

I feel like Ben Stein has this market covered in the US.

Our third grade classroom watched on the A/V cart rolled into our little Catholic school classroom. We were so excited to see a teacher going to space! Afterward, it took a long time to process that we'd seen 7 people die on national television. Now even grizzlier things show up on our phones.

Doing paperwork/training modules to become a substitute teacher again, because I'm at my wit's end after 8 months of being out of work. I hate teaching, but I hate doing several hours of training on child abuse and suicide prevention. Not because it's not necessary, but because it IS.

I mean, it's a pretty competent cover, right?

Maybe the real painus was the friend we made along the way... who then kicked us in the dick.

Were you there when I did Dating Game as the bachelorette, channeling the late, great Jean Stapleton? At one point, I said in her Edith voice, "I contain multitudes. Walt Whitman said that!" Granted, this was more than a decade ago, and I can barely remember yesterday.

Mama Fratelli! I didn't know you played her, Alexis! I guess that means you ALSO did Throw Mama From The Train and Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot!

And you never ONCE mentioned this back in Philly! Humble, brilliant, AND a goddam chameleon? You're the best, A!

Today is my 8th wedding anniversary. This picture says quite a lot about the both of us. I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world!

I tried that. It... didn't go well. We both recovered, but haven't seen each other since 1998.

I live a short car ride from the Grounds for Sculpture in Hamilton, NJ, that contains a metric bunch-ton of Seward Johnson's sculpture work. I like to visit several times a year.

Tennessee Williams most famous play, albeit in #firstdraft form. Critics lambasted him in workshops because nothing happened once the cat sat down. Just 90 minutes of cat snoozing, and ho-humming from the lone actor on stage.

I have a side dish ready in case my dad shows up spouting his anti-immigrant, homophobic, transphobic nonsense. It's called Get STUFF(ed)ING. Essentially, it's just a full rope of kielbasa, frozen solid and covered in cornstarch, bread crumbs, and sage.

Hail, and well met, Orange Cat!

Before we met, I worked at Walnut Street Theatre, selling tickets over the phone. First big musical of the season? RAGS, which was a musical based on that very thing. The musical was SLIGHTLY less tragic than the actual event. This was around October of 2000.

As a kid growing up in suburban Philadelphia in the 1980s, it was all rec room, all the time. Not that I had one in MY house, mind you. It was the kid down the street, Jason Staples, that had a rec room downstairs in his grandparents' house.

I will never surrender as part of the CiCi's Partisans Resistance League! And if we are defeated... well... I guess I'll just latch on to my part time job at Defiance Pierogi of Krakow.

YouTube video by L7 - Topic Shirley

If you've forgotten about one of the most kickass rock and roll outfits from the 1990s, here's your reminder: L7 RULES

How many times must you be told
There's nowhere that we don't go

music.youtube.com/watch?v=ZB5q...

I tried Ass-o-metric exercises to tighten up this Blobbod to Granddad bod status. it left me rounder than before, but now I get complimented for being "thicc." On the whole, a positive, I think.

I like this notion of Divorced™ being an energy. A kid I knew in 3rd grade had what I'm now realizing is Divorced™ energy, all the way back in 1986.

I particularly like the "wire mother" bit. Harry Harlow would be proud.

Also, can I get in on this Divorced™ branding, or is that off-limits since I'm remarried?

#booksky

This dude needs to get into his dad's airship and fly off into a round the world adventure that would make Jules Verne blush.

SCUM! Scatological Conservatives Uber.. Mall-es?

I'll bet that your 8 old can write a more strongly worded letter that ACTUALLY gets a rise out of Republicans/MAGAts. Then again, I'm sure your children contain far more compassion, integrity, and honesty when it comes right down to it.

If all else fails, though, poop jokes can take the day!

Thanks, Alexis. To be clear, I wasn't approached/groomed, but looking back on how that priest behaved around me and some others, it may have only been a matter of time. I was too naive at the time to realize what would have been happening until it was too late.

... all this to say that my abandonment of that institution was a welcome process, hard as it was internally. No joke, no bits, and no way will I ever latch on to an institution like that ever again. There is only one religion=control.

The parish I belonged to in the 80s and (nominally) in the 90s was kind of ground zero for a round of CSA, led by a priest who "assisted" with the altar boys at the parish. He never saw justice, but was constantly shuffled around the archdiocese and was "drying out" in church-owned rubber rooms.

This reminds me of the kind lunch lady who worked at my high school. Sometimes, she even gave me free stuff, when I was short on money from my after school job. I wonder whatever happened to Agnes Spreeshooter-Kidpoisoner?

Man, I take the apps off my phone to avoid social media, and CHARLIE KIRK happens?

Yeah, still keeping them off the phone. Geezus...

I think Alf (Gordon Shumay, to his friends) has such tacky taste in clothes, E.T. would be grossed out on a sartorial level, even BEFORE learning Gordon was an avid eater of cats.

It all begins with attraction, and Alf would be REPELLENT to E.T. (EdTricia Villalobos, for those keep score at home.)