Ryan

Can’t be a worse team in the league at breaking down 10 men than us.

Watching the highlights back… again. Thoughts on a rule where you can’t enter the 6yd box until the corner is taken? Not just to limit Arsenal to five goals a season, but seems an alright way to stop the bullshit keeper crowding?

United in a black kit is just unfair on everyone else.

Would almost be worth having a Class of 92(TM) interim manager consortium, to watch their 4-4–2, wingers with chalk on their boots, 1990s fetish burn.

Maybe only then would all their ragebait podcasts shut the collective fuck up about ‘United DNA’ and ‘no one getting the club’.

What a fucking circus of a club we are.

6/10 defending this season and we’re 3 places higher in the league. Every time it’s the basics.

Spare a thought for the artwork team at Alton Towers currently trying to reskin the David Walliams rides for a March open.

After the post-Fergie wilderness years, and some of the crazy records that we’ve seen, it’s staggering that somehow United still haven’t lost a Premier League game at OT when ahead at halftime. 325 matches.

Death, taxes, and a double centreback sub

Some talent to make this god-awful Wolves side look competent.

United with the chance to climb six places with a win tomorrow, against a hapless side yet to win in the league. You know the script by now, get that mortgage on Wolves.

Champions League is lava

Cowardly subs going to cost us yet again

Famously Manchester United and Liverpool are not allowed to be good at the same time. We can sure as hell both be fucking shit though.

Can I just shock you? I like international breaks. Despite what I said earlier.

This game is making my face hot.

Dalot excelling on his xHighfives

Don’t let these useless multi-millionaires ruin your weekend. They clearly don’t give a fuck. Until that changes, try not to give a fuck either.

Europa League final flashbacks

Onanaaaaa

Not a 3-4-3 fan in the slightest, but if you INSIST on playing as one and you DON’T have a top quality central midfield (never mind a functional one), it seems especially suicidal. The club knows that. Right?

Need a goal. Few mins left. Do you:

(a) Bring on Mainoo and Zirkzee

or

(b) Bring on a couple of centre backs

CM and a keeper away. Nothing we didn’t already know. Oh and on today’s evidence at least Arsenal fans don’t need to worry about finishing 2nd again.

What’s understated is how much better United’s defence will look when they don’t have to play with a scarecrow behind them. That 5-10% built-in doubt into every decision is mentally exhausting.

Cautiously optimistic about this season, based on that first half. All we have to do is never concede a corner and we’re golden.

Big if true

Caution urged over Roma’s £20m offer for Sancho, as the board simultaneously flags it as a phishing attempt. Once IT clear it, we should be pressing accept on that one with the force of a thousand suns.

Manchester United closing in on new coaching staff appointment Man Utd's academy has been shaken up across the summer and a new coaching staff appointment is set to be made.

David Horseman?

🎶Back in the nineties, United was a very famous fooooooootball club

To be fair it’s as it should be. You should deserve European football, and we deserve fuck all. Would’ve been a sprinkle of confetti on a steaming dog shit of a season.

Watching this side in the Champions League would be the purest form of masochism.