US Patent and Trademark Office

It turns out it's not illegal to patent the horrors persisting

A patent illustration showing a cart with a man in it. It looks like he also has a mounted machine gun in the cart with him. A horse is attached to a harness that pushes the cart from behind somehow?

This Lunar New Year go ahead and treat yourself to putting the cart before the horse

A patent illustration showing a cart with a man in it. It looks like he also has a mounted machine gun in the cart with him. A horse is attached to a harness that pushes the cart from behind somehow?

This Lunar New Year go ahead and treat yourself to putting the cart before the horse

It turns out it's not illegal to patent the horrors persisting

Congratulations to what is, we think, the very first Bluesky announced Parent for: Predicting Blowouts, something we sure could use here

A complex design illustration of a hospital bed with a woman in labor strapped down. There's a big ring around it implying they swing the bed around at some speed to try and eject the baby with centrifugal force

Patent pending: APPARATUS FOR FACILITATING THE BIRTH OF A CHILD BY CENTRIFUGAL FORCE

It's possible that Trump could figure out a way to manipulate the US patent office into doing his bribes and if that got news coverage people would get mad at this account. And that would be pretty funny

A patent illustration for a device that is meant to change lightbulbs. It is impossible to figure out how it is intended to work. It's a small rectangular base with a lot of random parts built up like a model city. There are over 200 parts with numbered labels with no names. You can see a lightbulb upside down in a glass jar in the middle. It's not immediately obvious how the machine would put it into a socket.

How many inventors does it take to invent a better way to change a lightbulb?

Just one, and a whole lot of ritalin

Muenster Marlboros would go crazy

I can personally attest to prior art being installed at Clark Hall Pub in 1989.

They also had a flat surface on top for your drink.

You mother fuckers are supposed to clear this shit with me

I don't know that reference

You mother fuckers are supposed to clear this shit with me

This is considered an "off label use"

This is considered an "off label" use

A patent illustration for a "Urinal forehead rest" it is a rectangular pad that mounts up to the drywall above a urinal

After a long day the first step to relaxing is

They should start making these now, for the potential feline-based hilarity.

A patent Illustration for a device called a Christmas tree vibrator. The image shows what looks like a little propane tank with dual shock controller technology secured to the trunk of a Christmas tree.

Another patent well ahead of its time in terms of being perfect for the sickos of this site (complimentary)

A patent illustration for a "Urinal forehead rest" it is a rectangular pad that mounts up to the drywall above a urinal

After a long day the first step to relaxing is

Patent illustration for a one person seesaw. There's some kind of internal spring or pneumatic deal to act as the second person.

How do you make friends in your 30's? A one person seesaw

they're calling it "The Babuchet"

I like a smoked Gouda, but not like this.

I assumed this was fake but it's absolutely real

Here's the patent from 1966: patents.google.com/patent/US323...

Congratulations to what is, we think, the very first Bluesky announced Parent for: Predicting Blowouts, something we sure could use here

You're very welcome

They added a Tesla logo so it's just trademarked

🫡

As if I needed another reason to eat cigarettes

This looks like the end result of an arms race to create the Most French Object

Can I get a pack of uuuuuhhhhhhhhh parmesan pall malls