US Patent and Trademark Office

They added a Tesla logo so it's just trademarked

🫡

As if I needed another reason to eat cigarettes

This looks like the end result of an arms race to create the Most French Object

Can I get a pack of uuuuuhhhhhhhhh parmesan pall malls

An illustration of a "masculine" toilet design. Shows the inner workings of a toilet where the distance between the rim and the water is 12 inches

A US attorney general filed a patent for a big dick toilet once

No, not that one

Patent illustration for a one person seesaw. There's some kind of internal spring or pneumatic deal to act as the second person.

How do you make friends in your 30's? A one person seesaw

👍

A patent illustration of a bipedal mechanism that is supposed to look like a weird doll boy thing standing. There are like 86 parts labeled with numbers. The body cavity looks to be filled with various looping wires maybe.

Geppetto's first attempt at designing a real boy

Googling: patent illustration of a verified checkmark

I'm in flavour country

📝

It's for industrial production of this

Googling: patent illustration of a verified checkmark

👀

AUTOMATIC HAIR-CUTTING MACHINE HAVING PROGRAMMED CONTROL MEANS FOR CUTTING HAIR IN A PREDETERMINED STYLE This thing looks like a human sized KitchenAid stand mixer except the business end is a bunch of machinery around a seated person's head.

Tired of having to make small talk with your barber? Nothing to fear!

Do you have his number? Can we call him? I have questions

Trump's first term, lol

AUTOMATIC HAIR-CUTTING MACHINE HAVING PROGRAMMED CONTROL MEANS FOR CUTTING HAIR IN A PREDETERMINED STYLE This thing looks like a human sized KitchenAid stand mixer except the business end is a bunch of machinery around a seated person's head.

Tired of having to make small talk with your barber? Nothing to fear!

A complex design illustration of a hospital bed with a woman in labor strapped down. There's a big ring around it implying they swing the bed around at some speed to try and eject the baby with centrifugal force

Patent pending: APPARATUS FOR FACILITATING THE BIRTH OF A CHILD BY CENTRIFUGAL FORCE

💯!

Patent illustration showing a person bent over a two handed crank. The mechanism rotates a X frame with shoes connected to each end in order to kick your own ass.

Bluesky's most wanted patent: User-operated amusement apparatus for kicking the user's buttocks

A diagram illustration of a cigarette that includes grated cheese mixed with charcoal as a part of the filter

Patent pending: cheese filtered cigarettes

A patent illustration for a banana shaped plastic banana holder. For improving the AC of your banana

The solution for those of you who struggle to transport a single banana:

A patent illustration for a banana shaped plastic banana holder. For improving the AC of your banana

The solution for those of you who struggle to transport a single banana:

YouTube video by msixhun6206 Pumpkin head Fleetwood Mac

Doing my part

Patent illustration showing a person bent over a two handed crank. The mechanism rotates a X frame with shoes connected to each end in order to kick your own ass.

Bluesky's most wanted patent: User-operated amusement apparatus for kicking the user's buttocks

Correct

Me and who