The Latest Alex 🏳️‍⚧️

Achievement unlocked: Maximum Canada

"My newest hobby is finding lines from The Simpsons that could pass for Morrissey song titles." I took this image from somewhere else and can't write all of these out on my phone, so if you're reading this because you need the alt-text, take the opportunity to brainstorm some good ones of your own.

oh my god

Sober October Ends As Deer Realizes Apple He Just Ate Fermented

Sober October Ends As Deer Realizes Apple He Just Ate Fermented https://theonion.com/sober-october-ends-as-deer-realizes-apple-he-just-ate-fermented/

notice the general mood of the timeline? how everyone is in a good mood and there’s a lot less misery and dooming? how there’s a lot of “we’re going to beat these assholes”?

anyway that’s why these events are important

Hell yeah! T time!

Yeah everything SUCKS but humans are still silly wonderful beautiful creatures who collaborate with slugs to make videos like this. So. All is not lost.

We’re getting rid of leaf blowers by eating 50 leaves a day each. Get out there

Great THREAD.

This has had me #enshambled for two days.

I am absolutely appalled that California's AG didn't sign on, and also deeply frightened given @governor.ca.gov's shift to the right.

56,000 acres of delicious

Hell yeah! That's an awesome story - glad to have inspired you to share it. And glad to make your acquaintance :)

Incredibly relatable, and incredibly courageous of you to share. Solidarity ✊

At the DudeSpa today. Sat in Monster Energy steam for half an hour and now they're putting Zyn packets on my eyelids. So amped up

I don't think pointing out the fascists' 'hypocrisy' is a good use of time. It's not hypocrisy, it's hierarchy. They actually do believe that they have the right and obligation to dominate you because they are superior to you. They are using their power not being hypocritical.

The thing is, every time you defend Newsom as a great candidate and what “we” need, you’re telling trans people that you’re willing to throw them under the bus

You can sit in my mentions and whine about how I’m criticizing Newsom too much and I will continue to highlight how your transphobia sucks

hi, cis folks!

this is present day reality for UK trans folks. it’s outrageous someone should have to have taken this journey to live as themselves, participate in society, & be with who they love.

hi, cis americans!

this is a future trans americans see that starts with “we need to compromise.”

My body is not cut out to be this furious all the time. I am built for naming dogs Doctor Reginald Pancakes and telling people about the time two bees stung me while I was on the toilet

Evan knows what's up. Good thread.

*gently takes away PADD*

Riker, I think that's enough Internet for today

Trying to find my people on here. Please share and follow me if you:

-Believe the lava from lava lamps must be returned to volcanoes, where it rightfully belongs.

-Argue that marathon runners should shave their eyebrows to be a little faster.

-Will eat the rich on principle, but dread the taste.

A highway covered in splattered roma tomatoes

Roadkill tomatoes

www.npr.org/2022/08/30/1...

the humble hotdog evolved from the hotwolf, a culinary artifact we no longer dare confront

Some of the mushrooms worked together for my birthday and got me a damp wood chip

Tumblr normal-horoscopes Everyone shut up and look at this carving of a whale from the 1200-600 CE Chumash culture The whale looks delightfully round and seems to be smiling.

We have always made delightful little guys.

PUT AWAY YOUR SABRE, TODAY YOU WILL BATTLE THE THOUGHTS THAT WOULD STEAL OUR JOY. AND YOU WILL WIN.

i understand why the years had to start coming but i do wish they would stop coming every once in a while

sample time