North Side Pat

Images of an old silver 1999 Toyota Corolla for sale

You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further. The 1999 Toyota Corolla. Let's talk about features. Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn. Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End. You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up. This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children. Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes

Consent to sex: yes Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would. Interesting facts: This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey. In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-

When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla, It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla. Google map of cars location

Never forget: 8 years ago a random person on Craigslist wrote the most effective ad for the Toyota Corolla, ever.

A digital illustration of a black crowned night heron in profile looking right, with a prominent bright red eye making them look especially expectant. Standing on a rock with green river-like swirly colors behind. The drawing is framed by a simple line, and under the frame lettering reads, 'Maybe it will happen today'.

What about JJ Wetherholt? He’s supposed to be a top 5 prospect. And the farm system is supposed to be a good one, no?

Boog on the call for this game and not the Cubs Spring Training game that isn’t being broadcast by any Chicago video or audio partners.

Now to watch the second half of the classic big 12 matchup between <checks notes> Kansas and Arizona

After RATM, I might go with some of my favorite 80s videos from my formative years: Van Halen, ZZ Top, Ratt…then I’ll probably get kicked out of the room. 😂

While I don’t want to give the Cards credit for anything (no offense - we agree on pretty much everything else I think 😀), this is a really good marketing idea. I expect my team to do something like this exactly never times.

Shouldn’t boo a senior citizen, IMO

We’re doing this again tonight. I’m probably starting with RATM live again. Let me know if you have any requests. 😀

Happy Birthday regardless.

And we’re one day closer to It Happening.

Find someone who loves you as much as Bruce Levine loves Matt Shaw

Picture of Marjane Satrapi alongside a quote from her. The quote reads: The world is not divided into countries. The world is not divided between East and West. You are American, I am Iranian, we don't know each other, but we talk together and we understand each other perfectly. The difference between you and your government is much bigger than the difference between you and me. And the difference between me and my government is much bigger than the difference between me and you. And our governments are very much the same... - Marjane Satrapi, Iranian-French graphic novelist

Thinking about this quote from Persepolis creator Marjane Satrapi again.

I do enjoy Cutwater, but this probably shouldn’t be in a grade schooler’s lunch bag

Youtube thumbnail of a bowl of glistening orange rings, they look like floppy orange gummies but they're some jacked up carrot pasta. Video title is now eat carrots like this, really easy and tasty.

Absolutely not

Except for bathing, philanthropy, and following doctors' advice

Please let the phone ring once when you get home.

The Cubs are back*

* Supposedly. Can’t watch or listen to them. Great job, Crane Kenney.

you have to hand it to the geniuses who decided to create an expensive streaming network where you can watch the three worst teams in the city

It’s 54 degrees, it’s 6 p.m. and sorta kinda still light outside. We are so back.*

* until this weekend when the temps bottom out again with snow and highs in the 20s on Sunday

I know you’re his #1 fan. 😀

I’m telling myself that he’s working on something during Spring Training. He was so good a couple years ago - hoping he can get back to that.

Edward Cabrera pitched for the first time as a Cub, Jefferson Rojas (he’s still just 20 years old btw) had another really nice game…good thing we couldn’t watch or listen in Chicago.

It’s just a franchise worth $4.6B, per Forbes. We couldn’t possibly expect them to air all of their games or anything like that.

The Cubs are playing a Friday afternoon Spring Training home game that isn’t available from either their video or audio broadcast partners. Tremendous stuff.

The Cubs are back

And it sings. Hilarious and terrifying at the same time.

@sleepbaseball.bsky.social needs to be aware of this

Radiohead Tells Trump’s Homeland Security to ‘Go F— Yourselves’ After Song Used in ICE Video Radiohead has told DHS and ICE to 'go f--- yourselves' after their song 'Let Down' was used in a video blaming immigrants for violence..

❤️ Radiohead