Lucienne Cummings

😂

Good luck!

Happens to me all the time... (wasn't my swan joke sadly). Kudos to whoever it was though.

Lily Allen's “West End Girl” joins a prestigious list of hit albums recorded in less than a fortnight. Allen recorded hers in just 10 days, the Beatles recorded Please Please Me in 13 hours, and Black Sabbath recorded their debut album in a state of total inebriation.
#BTN #BTNRejects #Satire

Some people use special methods to save money on social spending, such as set menus, loyalty points, and being obnoxious.
#BTN #BTNRejects

The daily number of people using public loos in Dumfries and Galloway is to be tracked by the council next year. Asked how the data will be used, a council member said they were
not privy to that information.
#BTN #BTNRejects

A swan on the tracks at Glasgow Central Station caused major disruption to train services this week. A certain Mr Charles Windsor of SW1A is wanted by Police for fly-tipping.
#BTN #BTNRejects

The BBC has established that Prince Andrew hosted Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell and Harvey Weinstein at Royal Lodge, for the only Halloween party where no one needed
to dress up as a monster.
#BTN #BTNRejects

A new study has revealed that 52% of UK households avoid trick-or-treaters by pretending to be out. The other 48% remain firmly in.
#BTNRejects

17th century records mention six Elgin men sword dancing and guising in the churchyard. They were each fined 40 shillings and had their nuts confiscated.
#BTN #BTNRejects

If you love funny picture books and you like to support indie authors and illustrators, please consider pledging to help make this sequel a reality. You won't regret it!

We have just made it for our October newsletter!
News and Subs and SO MANY Trash Family successes incl. @cbigs.bsky.social @madeleinewrite.bsky.social @adlibby.bsky.social @angelajoynes.bsky.social @leighloveday.bsky.social @meproctor.bsky.social and more!!

trashcatlit.com/2025/10/31/h...

Two carved pumkins: Slimer from Ghostbusters and a Spiderman mask.

Boo!

#Halloween

We hope your pumpkins are full of treatsies 🦝🎃
Here are some strange tales from our archive for the season...
1/5

I made my ex boss put the reason in the request because otherwise it was too traumatic. (And I was the HR, sadly*.)

*Never again.

Like your story-reads with a smidge, or even a pantwetting load, of laughs? Our print anthology has 3 corking tales to whet your giggle-box.
With 24 other amazing reads inside - grab one.
mybook.to/WhatComesToL...

Teases from @mrallanmiller.bsky.social @youcanandyouwill.bsky.social & Shayla Felix

Get on with it and write. You can learn every tip and trick on offer, but if you don't put them into practice, they're pointless!

A Zoom profile photo labelled "basic".

Wow! Zoom doesn't hold back, does it?

a man in a suit and tie sitting at a table Alt: Jon Stewart crumpling up his notes angrily at The Daily Show desk.

That thing where you start the day with a checklist of stuff you'll definitely do, and by the afternoon you're hiding in a darkened room.

Dunno, all the ones I've ever met seem to be...

Canadians are also pedantic...

Canadians are nice. I should know, I married one 😀

White House East Wing will be torn down ‘within days’ even as no plans filed for Trump’s new ballroom Demolition has drawn fierce backlash, with National Trust for Historic Preservation saying plans are ‘legally required’

Looking for a location for your next corporate away-day?

Four Seasons Garden Centre booked out?

Get down to Rump International DC, where bulldozing isn't just something we do to war-torn nations.*

*Drinks, service, flip charts, and chairs not included.

www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

Sent in lots of jokes. I laughed, even if no one else will ;)

Really need a news detox for at least 24 hours...

#BTN #comedy #satire

Smart money: family offers £180,000 a year for tutor to get one-year-old into Eton Family seeks tutor from ‘socially appropriate background’ who can provide infant with ‘comprehensive British cultural environment’

My school suggested I apply for Oxbridge 30 years ago. I said no. Can't think why.

www.theguardian.com/education/20...

Wow.

snoopy is dancing with his arms outstretched in front of a red background . Alt: snoopy is dancing with his arms outstretched in front of a red background .

Congratulations - that's great!

Great news!

Your local foxes say that if you buy a copy, they'll stop attacking your bins.*

(*For at least a fortnight.)