Topher Mehoozlhoff

Siri, remind me to add "prolific pooper" to my bio

New war just dropped

I think the president may be a lying hypocrite.

a man with a beard wearing a hooded jacket is sitting next to a r2d2 robot ALT: a man with a beard wearing a hooded jacket is sitting next to a r2d2 robot

JOKE: What is Obi-wan Kenobi's advice for playing chess?

A: (Alec Guinness voice) Use the horse.

Why does the Have I Got News For You theme sound like a boss battle from a Ninja Turtles video game?

No ICE = Noice!

AI enhanced image proves Bob Barker could shoot lasers out of his eyes

Sometimes you need a revolt

I'm picturing 240 toasters right now and I have no idea what I'm looking at

Cool cool cool

Can anyone guide me towards whatever someone said about day caress?

More than once someone told me they'd never forget the sermon where I said... And then proceeds to describe something I don't think I ever said.

If he had a false hand, he'd make sure it was larger than the tiny one they removed.

What color is your bruised body?

Is there a reason I can only have my prescribed medicine 30 pills at a time? Is the reason to keep pharmacies in business?

You don't like AI. Butt what if you did?

Think fingerless gloves are cool? Try toeless socks!

It's the question he minds.

Pollsters need to work on their sentence structure.

Guy who has $300 million dollars, but will only have $330 million at the end of Mamdani's term (he might have had $340 million if Cuomo was elected): "This is the biggest disaster in history. This is communism. Stalinism even. I have no choice but to become a fascist."

A Hard Week Between Sundays What if Luke Skywalker decided to leave his home on Tatooine and was immediately awarded a medal from a princess? What if Frodo and Samwise set off on a perilous journey and immediately got a ride …

In between Palm Sunday and Easter, Jesus had a very hard week.

mario and wario - the two genders

A New Kind of King About three weeks ago, I gave a sermon about kings. Kings are bad news. They take, take, take for themselves, and they exploit regular people to do it. When Israel wants a king, God warns them it’l…

Kings just take and exploit. The kings of Israel led the nation to ruin despite God's warnings. Prophets like Zechariah envisioned a new kind of king, humble yet triumphant. Jesus embodied this, entering Jerusalem on a donkey, a creative act of hope against empire and violence.

Radical position

Progressives need to run on a platform of pardoning Luigi, and also spending like $400 million of taxpayer dollars to arm him up with gadgets like the Batman upon release.

I just got radicalized

True, but only because of the dino-crane operators union

So tired of living through the apocalypse, looking forward to the post-apocalypse

The only binary choice we gave as a society is everything we want or the existence of billionaires.