Shitlawns

Post on facebook group "Any fake grass professional cleaners ? We hoover it, wash it, brought the fancy tools even before but it just looks flat & crap 😑 would love someone to come & revive it ?"

Comment on the post "Have you tried electric artificial grass sweeper? Get one for around £150 , (Amazon) had mine for years brings my grass up lovely I even get stripes and it picks up all loose debris saves all that hand racking" Reply from original poster " I tried this but it made it uneven because it sucked up a load of the concretey stuff underneath 😫"

The bit the plastic grass sellers don't tell you!
@shitlawns.bsky.social

The Netherlands to phase out artificial turf over health and environmental concerns - Ministry of Sport In a significant move set to take effect from 2030 onwards, the Netherlands is poised to bid farewell to artificial grass on sports fields, opting for real grass surfaces instead. This is due to the i...

An interesting development.

ministryofsport.com/the-netherla...

If there is more life on a kids nit comb than a garden, we need Government to step in and end the trend. Please sign to ban domestic use of Plastic Grass

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/71...

"We've got a spare ball boss, what do we do with it?"

"Just plonk it randomly like you did with the plants!"

Artificial grass catches fire at Derbyshire farm in heatwave A plume of black smoke is rising from a farm in Stanton, near Swadlincote.

Artificial grass: the gift that keeps on giving.

What in the Rishi Sunak's Helipad is wrong with people!

With record temperatures and very little rain before Summer has even begun, we need to start taking better care of our natural world for wildlife and climate. An easy start is to ban lifeless plastic gardens 📝
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/71...

Petition: Ban the residential use of artificial grass We urge the Government to introduce a ban on both the use and sale of artificial grass in residential settings. This should include prohibiting its installation in private gardens and outdoor spaces, ...

At a time when gardens are at their most important for helping wildlife cling on and as mitigation for climate impacts we need people to do the right thing. They don't, so now we need Government to...

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/71...

The DVC in a yellow digger laying artificial grass outside the Great Hall.

We’re upgrading our historic Great Lawn to use durable ArtiGrass™, helping to save on maintenance costs and improve aesthetics.

People who have fake grass installed at home are cunts, there are no exceptions

@shitlawns.bsky.social No, I'm not sure why either..?

The shop front

Poster advertising saying "Artificial Grass Hoover Purchase price £200 + VAT Hire Price £40 per day"

Depressingly there's enough business to support a brick and mortar fake grass shop near me, but I did laugh at the advert in the window. So much for the reduced maintenance and cost saving from not mowing!

£40 to RENT or £200 to buy an artificial grass hoover!

What a crazy world we live in!

Enough to drive anyone to madness...unless of course you had that problem already

Lady Penelope wants her living room back

Spot on!

Picture of untouched lawn full of wild flowering plants followed by picture of conversion to astroturf.

@shitlawns.bsky.social Royal Borough of Greenwich has forgotten it has a Biodiversity Action Plan. Surely this would have been better the other way around 😕

When you had a funny shaped offcut from your last job... #PlonkItDown #JobsAGoodun

Landscapers that lay astroturf profit from destroying your local ecosystem. Neither consumer or contractor pays the true cost of damages. Pavan Sukhdev calls this concept the "Economic Invisibility of Nature" and this is something that our Government need to start acknowledging.

When you do your whole foodshop in Waitrose but have to pop into Iceland because you prefer their cheap crumpets

Morning...

@shitlawns.bsky.social

Proud to be part of your Social Media Mount Rushmore! 👌

When the only plants you can see belong to your neighbours, it's time to slip on your shiny paving and knock some sense into yourself

Tell me you've never studied garden design without telling me...

Who's ready for a #ShitLawnOfTheYear candidate?

Don't stub your toe on your crushed velvet sofa on the way to the back door will you! #LiveLaughLoathe

We're taxed for driving polluting vehicles, drinking and smoking because it can be harmful and costly to humanity as a collective. But this, you can get away with scot free