Tyler Holland

Somebody on The Onion’s staff has been going to Angels games.

Time to say goodbye to buffering, static, and those epic “wub-wub” days.

AOL is finally shutting down dial-up RIP noisy little man.

AOL is officially pulling the plug on its dial-up service on September 30, 2025…ending not just an era of screechy internet connections, but also unofficially dropping the final bass wobble on the music genre dubstep.

www.theverge.com/news/757194/...

Thinking about Trace Weenie again.

I'm no doctor, but it would appear that Johnny Damon has a severe case of Vince Neil Disease.

With the upcoming NFL season coming up, a reminder:

no one will nor will they ever care about your fantasy team. 😉

With great sadness and regret, we must inform you we had nothing to do with this. We’d kindly ask that you respect our privacy at this difficult time.

Did y’all know that humans come in different sizes?! I can’t even …

Such a wasted opportunity for Apple…they could’ve called their chargers “Apple Juice” and cornered both the tech and toddler markets!

Hello, and welcome to Chez Langeliers.

Nothing says “state of the union” like Sydney Sweeney’s pants and the tragic revelation that Taylor Swift is apparently no longer “hot.”

Who needs healthcare reform when we’ve got headline-level pants and a national temperature check on Taylor’s attractiveness?

Salmonella, CA
Trogdor, OR
Cape Dracula, FL
Frothville, NY

SOURCE: The San Diego Padres are hoping to finalize deals for Nearby Salinas and Roosevelt Beefgardener before the 6PM ET deadline.

If you need me I’ll just be staring at his elbow for the next few days.

SOURCE: Bieber grew up in Canada with his brothers Justin, Napkin, and Bwayne, and his sisters Police and Breath. A homecoming of sorts.

Not only does RFK Jr. look like a wallet that came to life after making a wish on a used protein shake bottle, he also looks like a Captain Planet villain who’s trying to privatize clean air and sell it in mason jars.

my son is also named Rort … vedt

Wish we did, but we did not.

Foo Fighters’ New Drummer Revealed (Exclusive) Ilan Rubin replaces Josh Freese, who was let go from the band back in May. But there’s a twist.

Did not have Ilan Rubin for Josh Freese on my trade deadline radar. www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/music-n...

SOURCE:

Roth on Ichiro is a must-read.

Dad Hack: Multitask like a legend…play Dragon Quest games while adulting.

Keeps your brain sharp, your chores done, and your thumbs off doomscrolling.

That’s XP in every department! *level up noise*

This was less than a month ago.

SOURCE: The Baltimore Orioles have told multiple clubs that third baseman Mason Bedwetter is unavailable in a trade.

The Colorado Rockies have recalled right-hander Blarby Harold from Triple-A Albuquerque.

hello I am doing a sports

That’s so Royals.

Don’t you dare look at us.

“Crazy, but that’s how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe, it’s not too late
To learn how to love, and forget how to hate”

Seems like goin’ off the rails on a crazy train might be the most sane thing left to do…Ozzy had it right all along!