Lana Wood Johnson

Sometimes I wonder if the guy who made a whole Goodreads account just to write a one star review of my debut and upvote every single other one star review still thinks about me.

THIS IS MINE, TOO!!!

If you write a billionaire romance set in Chicago and at no point does anyone go out of their way to mention their fancy house is in Oak Park, trust that I’m immediately checking where in the UK you’re from.

I’m just a reader, standing in front of indie authors, begging them to capitalize the syllable they want emphasized in their pronunciation guides.

When you’re trying to come up with a pen name and your TooMUSH handle keeps staring you in the face.

I also dislike one of his grandchildren, but that doesn’t burn as brightly and she has less influence on his politics.

Every so often I check Wikipedia to see if one particular senator’s wife is dead because I am that petty and hold a 30 year grudge.

I swear, you’d think I’d never written anything in tight 3rd before.

I also need to make more self-pub friends…

Querying something I’m pretty sure I should self-pub is really making me look at publishing very differently.

When you destroy the lives of the people who harvest the food domestically and raise the taxes on the places we can buy the food from, the answer is yes.

a woman is sitting at a table in a living room talking to a man . Alt: Lucielle Bluth saying “It's One Banana, Michael. What Could It Cost, $10?”

This week in American government is very much giving:

What’s the over/under on half of it just being Creep covers?

Putting together a soundtrack for the next Romantasy I’m writing set in a fake early 00s CW show and filling it with all the covers I can find.

Me, when the predictive text actually predicts what I’m typing but I refuse to accept it as I finish manually: You’re not the boss of me!!!

Feeling a little like Cassandra today, but instead of Trojans in horses it’s venture capitalists in social media investments.

I feel like everything that happens in the US over the next four years will make a whole lot more sense if you worked for tech startups.

Omg, the sucking up is so painful to watch.

Too many billionaires stand in the way of me watching goat videos and hearing about the latest smutty books.

Not me spending the day opening and closing TikTok because I keep forgetting.

That does sound fully unhinged.

Please tell me your favorite unhinged plotline from a CW-esque show.

Doesn’t have to be “dog steals heart after transplant courier trips and drops it” levels of unhinged to help.

No, YOU’RE thinking of coming up with a whole new pen name and figuring out how to self-pub a romantasy the week before TikTok shuts down.

Read a book where the MMC’s private jet landed at O’Hare, and I realized that if I were ever unconscionably wealthy, never having to set foot in O’Hare ever again would be one of the best ways to flaunt that wealth.

It’s also how I knew the author was not American.

Nothing makes you question the quality of your author friendships like skimming deal announcements and finding a familiar name.

Hopefully it will snow more than a couple inches in the coming weeks and they’ll both be able to dig someone’s car out together so this doesn’t escalate into “something”.

Today one of our neighbors plowed our sidewalk before my husband could shovel theirs. As a true Minnesotan, he’s inconsolable.

Barbara and Melissa teaching Charlie to read so he could use bird law to help the school was EXACTLY what I wanted from the Abbott/Sunny crossover.

Me: *has problems getting out of bed because of chronic health flare *

Also me: Why haven’t I solved the climate crisis yet?

Online the right amount.