Eclipse

The older generation doesn't understand what it's like to feel so hopeless and drained while your future constantly gets ripped away from you.

I hate when people tell me their God "loves me".

I don't give a fuck if he "loves" me or "wants a relationship" with me, I give a fuck about being able to live my life freely without the eternal plague of dread that people in power would rather see me dead or as their property than alive.

Cranky mood. Vicious nightmares waking me up each night. Lots of crying. I wish I had someone nearby I felt comfortable hugging. I wish I had a stronger local community.

I should consume less news. But I don't want to be uninformed either.

I realize I post a variation on this every couple days. 🤷‍♀️

AI is terrifying and yet so many people are too digitally desensitized or censored into not being able to truly comprehend the consequences that are going to come with it - some we have already witnessed.

Always read banned books.

I've just started reading 1984 and Animal Farm by George Orwell because I took it for granted in high school.

Other countries being worried and scared and literally red flagging America while trump voters turn a blind eye to it all is scary.

Seems he knows the difference, after all.

I have spent the past two years of my life doing nothing but grieve. I'm so tired, I'm tired of being terrified for myself and my family and my future.

The memories I made will die with me, the life I lived will go unremembered.

I often wonder if one day, in the future when I don't exist anymore, someone will stumble upon something of mine and dive deep into my life, researching about me and the time I lived in.

It's not death itself i'm afraid of. It's the fading away into nothing I don't like.

Every possession I cherished will scatter in the world, finding new homes or ending up in the trash. Eventually the people that knew me, loved me, will fade away too.

Like I was never here to begin with.

I hope in a past life I was someone's muse