Emily Andras

Joe Rogan's forced laughter is my 'Nam

It gives me great pleasure to know that genuine wit is and always will the one true currency these clowns can not buy

“Oh yeah? Well watch this: my robot is gonna call you the r word. Eventually. Just let me…keep typing… where are you going?”

Counterpoint: some men aren’t lonely enough

What we got ourselves here is a bonafide ghoul off

Wasn’t even aimed this way, figured I would be a teacher or social worker but then they told me I couldn’t be a screenwriter because I was from the wrong place wrong class wrong sex and had the wrong take so then I was like ok ya doinks watch this

they should invent a nap that does your chores

We gotta regroup let’s temporarily ban all journalists with a ‘z’ in their name

I mean I could single handedly take on an island of 85,000 people, but 87,000? Be real brother

Plot Twist: Andy’s response to this was grudgingly polite! Shame works!

Omg teach me your wizardry

A screenshot of a Facebook post where a person named Andy ask the Well now “What the hell is transgender?” The Royal Canadian Air Force account response with “That’s a pretty big question asked in a pretty small way, Andy. ‘Transgender’ putting describes someone whose gender – who they know themselves to be – doesn’t match the sex they were assigned at birth. It’s not new, and it’s certainly not a fad. People have lived this experience for as long as people have existed; we’re just finally talking about it openly. You don’t have to fully understand it right away, most learning takes time, but we can always start from a place of respect. That’s how decent folks handle things they’re still getting used to.”

Massive shoutout out to whoever handles the Royal Canadian Air Force’s social media account. They responded to every single comment on their already very solid Trans Day of Remembrance post and they responded like this…

A cropped screenshot from a Canadian government website with the prompt "What's your occupation?" The answer "Writer" has been provided, generating the red text error response "Please enter a valid occupation."

Almost a year now since I received this absolutely classic burn from the Canadian government.

Just the POTUS wistfully wishing he could have been the mayor of NYC ok sure alright

I miss Earpvading people’s feeds. What a ride. Thanks for having me. 😘

Also some absurdist comedy. This is our monkey trapped in IKEA 2.0 goddamn it

Me and my boroughs are gonna mess you up

Angus: You know, every article I’ve read about the tourism numbers talks about “Canada’s uncertainty with the tariff wars.” No. Canadians hate Donald Trump. They see not going to the US as an act of patriotism.

Can this particular one, just once, being about the fact that men like this don’t see WOMEN as people? It was very clearly not about men or boys for Trump!

I mean, look, I'm not a reporter, so who am I to talk?

But on a day where the president both just called a woman reporter "Piggy" and is celebrating someone who had people bone saw apart one of my colleagues, I might just be a little ready to defend my colleagues and profession.

But that's just me

Image I photoshopped of a theatrical poster for "OH, MARY" but with Miss Piggy pictured and billed in the lead role

Okay, I'm making my case for the only Muppet I want to see on Broadway right now...

Yes yes there’s always one of you thanks

The exact opposite of Christianity well done team

Get ready to be even more bisexual ~ is my entire pitch

60 percent of my job rn is writing and the other 40 percent is screaming/stumping for Physical 100: Asia

I lol’d in public ty

“you take everything from me, old man” — my five-year-old daughter. just now, when i told her we’re going to bed

Not true. You are without a doubt the most skilled at being the glorious creature that is you.

Yeah but you’re the best, so… xo

I hear you but think it’s almost more about youth than fuckability? Which I tried to highlight. Besides, they’ll still punish young women they deem ‘unfuckable’ (and fuck them for that too) in a different way: indifference, avoidance, or actually icing them out.