𝚙𝚘𝚘𝚕𝚋𝚘𝚢 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗

I know that’s 100% not a judgement I should be making but they can’t seem to fathom liking a man that isnt just the gender bent version of themself. Anyway, there’s a girl going through the same thing on tiktok right now and she’s getting the same feedback and ignoring it. It’s okay to be gay babes.

In my life there are a handful of women who have never had relationships but claim to want one very badly and without fail all of them insist on only looking for someone who is exactly “their type” and has everything in common with them and I’m just positive it’s because they don’t like men.

in the last couple weeks that I’ve been on less than I had for a couple of months before that. I dunno, I’m experimenting with this for a while longer though. Its been bizarrely frustrating to lose sooo much weight and still be medically overweight but I don’t want to care but I kind of still do.

So I have recently started to lower my semaglutide dose to see what it would like to be at maintenance and see how my person habits feel at that amount and 1.) I am very hungry but 2.) I still have a small appetite and most foods sound rather unappealing but 3.) I have actually lost more weight

There’s this tiktok challenge where young women try to talk for a minute without using filled words and they all sound like me with pauses while they pick descriptors and stuff. It’s made me listen to the way I talk more and I almost never say “um” but I have no idea why

Trying to break the cycle of being a miserable create by asking myself “what would this look like if it were fun” and trying to get it there. I bought the old house ticket and I now have to take the old house ride but the suffering aspect has been oppressive recently so I hope this helps ease that.

So many exceptionally sad funeral slide shows used those as background music and they would loop for hours and hours and hours and god damn it gives me flashbacks in the grocery store and that’s sooooo lame. That’s cringe. That’s so fucking boring of me. Fuck.

There are a small handful of things that trigger a PTSD response from my time working in funeral service and most of them are avoidable except for two fucking songs that jump me and kick me in the throat when I least expect it - Don’t Fear the Reaper, and Sweet Child of Mine.

Very satisfying for my inner child that I can sew my own winter coat or build a fence I designed or bake a three tiered cake or book bind or hang a chandelier or cobble my own shoes or cure meats or cross pollinate flowers to make my own seed variety or cast jewelry or build a house. Feels good.

one piece of card stock on the outside so it kind of had a cover and all I wanted was to make a REAL book with hard covers and a spine and cloth on the outside and sewn pages on the inside and I was told no that would take a long time and now all I do is make real things that take a long time.

Thinking about how I wanted to create stuff as a kid and how pissed off I was that art teachers were always like we’re gonna make a book and I was like probably not I bet it’s stapled together paper and they would say no it’s a real book and then it would be stapled together paper but like with

“Next Friday and Saturday will be good for paint!” And so will Wednesday and Thursday. Insulate your house and hire an exterminator for your flea ridden mouse infested kitchen.

Also this is the only friend who has not helped me even one bit, everyone else has shown up for some kind of help.

My annoying local old house friend has taken to informing me about the weather as it applies to my exterior paint work as if it’s info only she has and is set in stone. “Big storm coming, looks like paint season is over.” No. I can literally paint after it passes. Also I can look it up myself.

By day two I had to say “I do not want to talk about this anymore” over and over and she just would not drop it. Like, I’m proud of me but I won’t say a single negative word about myself “before” because I’ve always done my best. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what else to say to make it stop.

“You must have lost nearly 10 pounds!” 💀💀💀 I am nearly 6 feet tall and have lost 25% of my body weight since I saw her last and I am still medically overweight. Try that mental math out. All I could say was “yeah something like that”

Saw my mother in law for the first time in a year and 1. First thing she did when she saw me was SHRIEK in pure joy “you’re so skinnyyyyy” in front of a room of people which made me want to fucking die and 2. Would not shut up about it all weekend and word for word said

Before you cross me just know that my pet name before 10 am is Bitch Pants and I have earned every ounce of it

I just realized all three of these involve a kid with dead parents literally flying away from all their problems in an unusual vessel

I am the way that I am because the only tv I had as a kid were vhs copies of The Wizard of Oz, Fly Away Home, and James and the giant peach.

Just learned that a content creator I kind of like named her daughter Theater and I’m out. Pass.

My bunny Fizgig, sitting in a baby doll bed, stares at me with intensity

feed the baby or else

AI is not outside yet so I will be outside enjoying that for the foreseeable future. Unclear what I will do after that.

Anyway, this process is making me hate everyone in my neighborhood

or my neighbor cornered my painters and told them authoritatively that when they’re done with our 80 ft lift he’s going to use it to cut down a tree behind his house and “don’t worry I have a chainsaw” as if we didn’t spend ALL OUR MONEY to get it for not nearly enough time to finish what we need

or “just ask your painters to do that bit” as if I hadn’t thought of that already

People keep stopping me to chat while I’m working on the incredibly detailed shitty upper porch paint project and being like “you know you can pay people to do that” completely ignoring the 20 foot trailer with a painters logo that’s been out front for over a month

STOP👏PUTTING👏RIDDLES👏IN👏FANTASY👏BOOKS👏AS👏PLOT👏DEVICES👏ITS👏BAD👏WRITING👏AND👏THEYRE👏FUCKING👏EMBARRASSING👏YOU👏SHOULD👏BE👏EMBARASSED👏

Half asleep Cam: “I need to get a spiderweb tattooed around my butthole like those ladies on the view.”

They are blasting ‘07 emo hits at the optometrist’s office and that’s how I know I’m old

Several people who have not shown up for or included me all year are now asking about Halloween. I dunno what to say. I’m not a Halloween machine. Obviously they’re not willing to put in effort the rest of the year. I dunno if this is the one exception I make for my new rule or stick to my guns.