Seishe

Put all my hair on one side of my head
Feeling fiercely artistic somehow

#cooked salmon for the first time today
It came out perfect with the crispy skin, asparagus was greasy, but hey. This isn't #Masterchef lol

I love carcoochie boards 😍😍😍

Why

Never met a woman who looks like Kim Davis that was also a pleasure to be around

Who imposed tariffs?
Who cut immigration, destroying the ag workforce?
Who undermined the Fed?
Who halted renewable energy?
Who's running deficits?

I think if I was on a competition show and something went really bad for me I'd have to shit myself out of anguish

Arbitrary code execution makes me feel so powerful
Wish I knew what code I was executing though

Woke up to this baby muffin

Lot of old people dying lately
Can't say it's been anyone I know though

If I ever got a Make-A-Wish I'd use it to have sex with Gordon Ramsey

Enjoying olives for the first time ever

They should do a Masterchef but the judges kiss each other whenever the food tastes good

Husband #threwup in my hair
Gonna smoke all his weed as revenge

I always have to root for the women in competitions

Feeling cool I scavenged the hardware I need for my cape

Found it on some kind of leg brace someone dropped outside
Guess their leg fell off

Used to put all my random thoughts into my tiktok
Then a diary
Now it can be bluesky

Spending this cold day indoors with my loved ones

Immigration agents have new technology to identify and track people The Department of Homeland Security is adopting powerful new tools to monitor noncitizens. Privacy advocates are worried they erode privacy rights for immigrants and Americans alike.

The Department of Homeland Security is adopting powerful new tools to monitor noncitizens. Privacy advocates are worried they erode privacy rights for immigrants and Americans alike. n.pr/440Ovz4

SNAP benefits are under attack during this government shutdown and food banks are picking up the slack.

But they need your help. Here are the best ways to do that:

She clings to me like a hungry orphan
Feh

Seeking cheap dental care
All you have to do is take two of my teeth out

Should be easy enough
Now to trick someone into doing it for free...

I want more friends so I can cook for them

So happy to hear that Nancy Pelosi is retiring

Pearl Harbor

Tonight for #dinner my fat ass made this breakfast bowl
Tater tots
Scrambled Eggs
Sausage
Alfredo Sauce
Cheese

Simple. Tasty.

Just ate a whole wheel of blue cheese

"Don't get too excited, because-" Nah, how about you shut the fuck up. All the way up.

Let people have a crumb of joy, you miserable fucks, my GOD.

I promise, you can go back to posting "We're so fucked" and then not doing anything to stop it thrice daily tomorrow.

Just watched this woman make a fucked up chicken salad
Evil cooking at its finest

Straight up slurping these damn things down