Fred Delicious freddelicious

A big ol lego set

Finally finished!

01.01.2025 16:03 — 👍 62 🔁 1 💬 3 📌 0

top 5 years for novelty NYE glasses:

1: 2020
2: 1001
3: 0 (giant monocle)
4. 1969
5. 8000 B.C

31.12.2024 01:08 — 👍 53 🔁 4 💬 1 📌 0

"Ok folks who ordered the macaroni & bees?"
"you mean cheese?"
[waiter struggling to keep bowl covered]
"that does make more sense actually"

13.12.2024 23:12 — 👍 144 🔁 18 💬 4 📌 0

who remembers these????

13.12.2024 23:11 — 👍 36 🔁 3 💬 10 📌 0

nobody goes over Niagara Falls in a barrel anymore

07.12.2024 10:05 — 👍 102 🔁 14 💬 8 📌 0

Before doors were invented people had to stay in the room they were born in for their entire life

05.12.2024 18:23 — 👍 59 🔁 3 💬 6 📌 0

I don’t think I’d enjoy being sucked off by mr bean. looking down and seeing him do an enthusiastic thumbs up in between slurps would be hard to process

03.12.2024 23:15 — 👍 40 🔁 3 💬 6 📌 0

Just put my Christmas tree up…

…my ass 😈

30.11.2024 21:42 — 👍 35 🔁 1 💬 4 📌 0

Will I understand Nosferatu if I haven’t seen Nosfera?

30.11.2024 20:17 — 👍 31 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0

can’t find my daughter’s elf on the shelf so I’m just gonna say it died

30.11.2024 18:59 — 👍 41 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0

wanna feel old? breakdancing cop was 11 and a half years ago

23.11.2024 22:20 — 👍 28 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

"sir, can i ask why you're smoking TWO huge blunts?"
"officer, I'm..."
*turns to camera*
"double jointed"
*cop starts breakdancing*

23.11.2024 22:17 — 👍 83 🔁 8 💬 0 📌 0

[playstation trophy sound]

22.11.2024 21:27 — 👍 59 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 1

Thanks! It’s nice here

22.11.2024 21:26 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Hahah

21.11.2024 20:42 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

A letter stating that my child has been chosen to play a child in the school play

Throwback to when my son landed the most demanding acting role of all time

21.11.2024 20:19 — 👍 53 🔁 3 💬 4 📌 0

my dog’s reaction to his birthday muffin

21.11.2024 19:56 — 👍 36 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

Say what you will about Matt Gaetz, but he’s tough on crime. For example he just brought down Matt Gaetz

21.11.2024 18:13 — 👍 102 🔁 9 💬 0 📌 0

Elvis then pelvis

17.11.2024 23:34 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

if anyone is into music check out a band called the Beatles. you won’t regret it

17.11.2024 23:32 — 👍 123 🔁 11 💬 11 📌 3

the

17.11.2024 00:26 — 👍 23 🔁 1 💬 11 📌 0

dare I????

16.11.2024 17:30 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

a tasty treat for my new followers

16.11.2024 15:35 — 👍 48 🔁 1 💬 3 📌 0

“this is your pilot speaking. The bad news is that I’ve fallen out of the plane. The good news is that the range on this Bluetooth headset is incredible”

15.11.2024 23:53 — 👍 512 🔁 52 💬 3 📌 2

How it feels using BlueSky after 12 years of Twitter

14.11.2024 23:22 — 👍 81 🔁 9 💬 3 📌 0

This tab is like if someone described the exact opposite of me

14.11.2024 08:00 — 👍 72 🔁 3 💬 1 📌 0

I genuinely think that if he tried, Matt Gaetz could eat a basketball

14.11.2024 07:59 — 👍 34 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

Was gonna repost some of my old tweets but the Bruce Willis ones haven’t aged well…

13.11.2024 21:10 — 👍 25 🔁 2 💬 8 📌 0

Ah that’s such a nice thing to say, thank you

13.11.2024 21:09 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Posts by Fred Delicious (@freddelicious.bsky.social)