Jessica

no one cared who I was til I put on the dick and balls mask

doing divinations today, sliding scale based on how hot or oppressed you are. we can use a traditional deck or the very horny George Bataille deck, up to you

a book entitled "sun salutation ANUS" with a woman in downard dog in silhouette, the sun glowing behind her ass

new grimoire just dropped

Live each day as if you're going to get murdered soon

jizzwitch lifts a striped shirt to reveal a biblically accurate angel tattooed across her abs. her obliques are very developed

friday morning abs check. post cumgutters itt

the helldude qted it and that really rallied the dryjacker army lol

remembering the time I posted that dryjacking makes men bad at sex and how many dudes got so mad they sent me death threats on that anonymous AMA platform people used to use

Let's decode what happened here — first, you saw the best minds of not just any generation, but 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 generation.

Were they sane, clothed and well fed?

No. They were destroyed, not just by madness — but starving hysterical. The real kicker? They were naked

can anyone explain why the British have coined so much egregious sexual slang?

worst offender: "rumpy pumpy"

the vibes there are so horrific I'd die from psychic damage alone. I'll stay at bombay beach instead

some

he possesses a fortitude and strength of will most of you will never know

thats what happens when you consort with inhuman forces tbth

a student came to my 530 hot vinyasa class this morning wearing cutoff skinny jorts

therapy: lame, takes forever, expensive

going beast mode: cool as hell, instant results, free

ladies, I don’t need to hear your lamentations at all. crushing my enemies and seeing them driven before me is enough #ally #notallmen

got the results of my MRI back and it turns out I've been exercising on a torn meniscus for 4 months

anyway I'm gonna go meditate in Nepal for a week about it and hopefully receive shaktipat and siddhis from a guru so I can heal it with the power of my own prana

your gym playlist is a sorcerous incantation. choose it wisely

i would never buy soup

black and white drawing of a mage in six stages of age/evolution, starting as a fresh-faced young man and ending as a bearded, monstrous half-human, crawling with bugs and surrounded by magical fire

using this dungeon crawl classics illustration as a to do list. I figure I'm at about step three rn and look forward to my continued monstrous transfiguration as I unveil further occult mysteries

*driving 5 minutes extra to the farther away WinCo because they have a better bulk section*

my supply lines are too extended rn idk if I can survive the winter seiges

you hear people say "for the time being" all the time but no one ever asks who the time being is

it's me, I'm the Time Being. thanks for all that stuff you've been doing for me

the primordial urge to "try a French bob" after dedicating three years growing your hair to your waist

Getting into agreements online

I have finally succumbed to The Illness and require treats and other kindnesses

I'm perfect AND I'm an island. but I'm a woman, so

made thai mango curry tonight. rest of the week is white bean and veggie stew with dumplings, baked pasta, khichadi, sweet potato bowls, homemade pizza and bibimbap

every day is ass cheek day

got hired to teach yoga at a gym and I get a free membership which can only mean one thing: lifting weights until my ass cheeks resemble 2 bowling balls

it's so good