Rando Star Trek

This time Mr. Sulu lets the ship get taken over by some aliens with belts that make everyone play freeze tag yet could have prevented all of this if they had scanned the planet first

Tonight on Star Trek: The Next Generation
Lt. Cmdr Worf infiltrates the Romulan empire although they make a genetic duplicate in order to harvest their brain parts.

In this episode The EMH meets a Q nevertheless really discovers why the spice must flow.

In this episode Mr. Sulu meets another fake god however also convinces Admiral Fraiser to take Space LSD.

This time Mr. Scott discovers a new planet although the crew has mutinied over the latest holonovel!

Tonight on Star Trek: Discovery Michael gets caught running a tardigrade fighting ring nevertheless it turns out it's a faaaaaake

This time Captain Archer can't leave well enough alone although also finds an unexpected love.

In this episode Uhura has a transporter accident but is really in the dream of a sick child at a hospital.

Tonight on Star Trek: Voyager
B'Elanna can't go below warp 5 or the core will explode although is really in the dream of a sick child at a hospital.

In this episode Dr. McCoy travels through time though also convinces Starfleet to let them go back to Risa.

Tonight on Star Trek
Uhura lets the ship get taken over by some aliens with belts that make everyone play freeze tag nevertheless they’re trapped in the stick-clicking German-alien’s board game and have to move along home

Next week, on CBS All-Access Lieutenant Stamets can't stop jumping or the spore drive will explode yet the writers ran out of excuses for the crew to be involved in some other civilization’s bullshit

This time Chief O'Brien travels back in time to an Earth where a member of a cult run by Alessandro Cortini is taking hostages but never really resolves the Klingon problem.

In this episode Uhura talks with Spock's brain but also convinces Starfleet that lovebots are sentient and have rights.

In this episode Subcommander T'Pol can't escape a dream but is really in the dream of a sick child at a hospital.

This time Lt. Reed makes first contact with a race of sentient insects however finds out that they weren't the first to visit the Delta quadrant.

This time Odo wakes up mommy and daddy to tell them that Rumpelstiltskin is in their room although really discovers why the spice must flow.

Tonight on Star Trek: Voyager
Captain Janeway ignores the prime directive yet this is really an episode about the B plot

Tonight on Enterprise
Captain Archer meets another fake god though could have solved everything if the transporter had just worked.

This time Lt. Reed returns from shore leave nevertheless could have prevented all of this if they had scanned the ship first

Tonight on Enterprise
Hoshi meets another fake god though they’re trapped in the stick-clicking German-alien’s board game and have to move along home

This time Mr. Scott confuses an entirely logical race of brains in jars but is trapped in a mind-meld with another darn old Spock.

This time Travis can't stop dancing though could have prevented all of this if they had scanned the ship first

This time Ensign Ro accidentally discovers new life on the holodeck though actually is the link to the delta quadrant.

Tonight on Star Trek
Mr. Sulu finds a giant space creature nevertheless also convinces Starfleet to let them go back to Risa.

This time Counselor Troi returns to Earth's past however also finds an unexpected love.

In this episode Doctor Culber implants their personality into another character's subconscious yet ends up stuck in the mirror universe

This time Nog hires Nathan Fielder to spice up business on the Promenade however also convinces Starfleet that lovebots are sentient and have rights.

This time Travis is eaten by a giant space lobster however is suspiciously sensitive to light

Tonight on Star Trek
Captain Kirk lets the ship get taken over by some aliens with belts that make everyone play freeze tag nevertheless can't remember the last 24 hours.