doofy

oh to be a cat asleep on his scratchy sofa with his catnip stuffed banana

lost lands layaway hitting a mere couple seconds after my paycheck hits is a little funny ngl

there are times when I miss living in new england

but then I look at the weather and become super relieved that I live in the temperate Denver area where it’s sunny 80% of the year

my cat has his own couch and will watch tv with me sometimes

bro I’m at the bar and Paul mf Revere pulled up

hot take but luge is kind of a stupid Olympic sport

its just competitive sitting down and sliding

like imagine getting a gold metal for letting gravity and then physics doing the work

watching edm people in the twitch chat arguing over whether someone should call their ex or not

there should be an link or something that lets you skip all the exposition on recipe websites

like no offense but I don’t really care just tell me how to make the thing I’m looking up the recipe for

*hits blunt*
“if they ever make a sequel they should call it rata-two-ie

been home for about 9 and a half hours and my cat is already back to bossing me around

Hot take: you don’t hate all I want is for Christmas is you by Mariah Carey it’s just hella overplayed and are sick of hearing it every year

hot take but it’s kinda wild that there’s football and basketball games today

like let the players (employees for all intents and purposes) have their holiday and spend time with their loved ones

dawg my sister just handed me this beer and said it reminded her of me cause we both look perpetually stoned

this is my favorite picture of my cat cause like why’s he like that??

watching “A Very Kitty Coctail Party” (11/10 would recommend) and watching my cat seethe with jealousy that he can’t join the kitties inside the tv

did some research to see where I could watch catdog and found out that someone else was asking the REAL questions

im just gonna say it:

candy corn fucks and if you disagree you need grown up taste buds

made the mistake of taking an afternoon nap and now it’s 9:20 at night

mom can you come pick me up? they’re moshing at the chase & status set

damn wook flu not messing around this year

bro how do you not walk up escalators at the airport?? it makes no sense

arugula is such an underrated vegetable holy fuck

my favorite post festival hack? Doing all my laundry including sheets and cleaning my bathroom so my entire life is clean and cozy when I come home

this is an image of a shiny furret peeking from a corner

good morning

may this shiny furret bring you good luck this week

just saw an ad for taco bell talking about a “throwback to y2k oldies” that had a Sum 41 song playing and immediately felt old as shit

i wish MGMT liked being popular cause their stuff still fucks

got a surprise day off, gonna get baked and make a badass banana bread

hearing Porter Robinson at a Asian fried chicken restaurant feels super appropriate and very vibey

bro someone at work asked me why I talk like I’m from Family Guy and I had to explain that it’s not a bit, that’s just how people from there sound