Maggie Koerth

I have adapted
the poem
that you wrote
like a hundred years ago

and which
you were probably
thinking
was exclusively about plums

Forgive me
it was low-effort
so reusable
and arguably funny

So my question about this: How many times does there have to be extremely obvious insider trading on Polymarket before people stop betting against shit like this? Like, if you place this kind of bet, don't people have to disagree and bet against you for you to make money?

That feels more like a "beg forgiveness" thing.

Okay, I'm sorry, but if you buy this and DON'T set up a space to brood over the city like Spiderman or Batman, you are wasting your money.

Also, I'm glad this is only 1 bedroom so I'm not tempted to buy it and set my kids up with a horribly dangerous rooftop basketball hoop.

My girlfriend happened to go to NYC in the summer of 2002. On impulse, she purchased, from an otherwise normal tourist tchotchke shop, a shot glass that said 9/11.

On moonshots and Minneapolis Space exploration can bring people together and reflect deep societal divisions.

I've been really struggling to write about space while living through the ICE occupation in Minneapolis this winter. I was shocked to find myself thinking, "Who cares about sending people to the moon?"

That feeling is more historically resonant than I thought. 🧪🔭
www.sciencenews.org/article/moon...

Oh, For Sleet’s Sake: MnDOT announces Name a Snowplow winners From plays on film and TV titles, to iconic idioms and music titles, the 2025-26 Name a Snowplow winners might read like snow-inspired misspellings. Winners include “Flurrious George” and “K Pop Blizz...

Without any ICE jokes, this already cloying practice lands like a wet fart. www.mprnews.org/story/2026/0...

I can't make a LiveScience Plus account under using my real name as my display name because it "impersonates a public figure". This may well be the most famous I ever am.

ABOLISHCE A fundraiser FOR THE PEOPLE DROPKICK MURPHYS® FRIDAY, MARCH 6", ", 1:00 PM. -8:00 PM Black Forest Inn, Parking Lot on Nicollet Ave 26th and Nicollet, Alex Pretti Memorial FREE ADMISSION Fight fascism and support the warriors who've stepped up to protect our neighbors and our democracy. GIVE TO THESE ORGANIZATIONS STILL FIGHTING AND HELPING Dropkicks set at 4:00 p.m. Prior to Sold Out Show at Palace Theatre Dropkick Murphys Wild Colonial Bhoys Danza Ketzal Brass Solidarity Kiss the Tiger Sophie Hiroko Chutes Obi Original Shackletons Laamar Neighbors Helping Neighbors Show Up For Eat Street Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota Rent Support For Bancroft Families SPONSORS Black Forest Inn MINNEAPOLIS FOUNDATION Whittier SẢM = 7250 MINNESOTANS FORA UNITED IRELAND

Dropkick Murphys will be performing at an Abolish ICE fundraiser on March 8th at Black Forest Inn in Minneapolis

With:
Wild Colonial Bhoys
Danza Ketzal
Brass Solidarity
Dropkick Murphys
Kiss the Tiger
Sophie Hiroko
Chutes
Obi Original
Shakletons
Laamar

RIP Alex Pretti

@josephfasano.bsky.social

They’re like peanut butter and jelly

If it makes you feel better, I’ve incorporated both Sad! (a Trumpism) and Jeb! (a niche gag that gets more niche with each passing year)

I have a really good boss who keeps the meetings non-performative

Ultimately, my dislike for meetings (and, in particular, performative meetings) has really killed any hope I might have had of a political career.

Guys in giant bell costumes and elaborate puppet heads and they're all dancing polka at the Holiday Inn but the vibes are suddenly "we are so excited that you're here to be the sacrifice!"

But I was thinking of pagan Europe because the costumes and vibes in the videos reminds me of a time I went to Oktoberfest in New Ulm and it was like a normal midwest Oktoberfest until late at night at the Holiday Inn dance they start playing spooky party music and a bunch of Summerisle mfs come in.

I should say, probably more accurately, this is the best in spooky vibes party music that the blending of pagan Europe and African cultures has to offer.

Welp, I'm now obsessed with the spooky vibes of the traditional Cajun Mardi Gras song. I swear to god, one thing pagan Europe got right was eerie party music.

Who'd a thunk

✅Marked Safe from The Discourse.

I need more detail here. Because of the ghosts? Or because of his playing skills?

This week, I have learned that USA hockey consists of one pair of evil brothers who look like the thumbs from Spy Kids and one pair of good brothers, one of whom is a Haunted Victorian Doll. I have not watched a single game.

Pancake expert here. The annual rush to harvest pancakes on a single day has extremely deleterious effects on the local pancake ecosystem. By all means pick a few pancakes for your own use, but please leave some on the bush so that it can recover in its own time.

The Challenger explosion and/or Romeo + Juliet

I continue to just be blown away by the quality of the reporting on Last Week Tonight.

Petition to substitute President’s Day with Prince’s Day

I mean this more in a general sense.

I don't think my fellow journalists quite understand how traumatizing and stressful helicopter flyovers are at this point. Can we please find different ways to cover things?

"Aged like milk" is such a weird phrase that implies the mass populace hates cheese.