When you judge yourself for taking a selfie
05.03.2026 23:38 — 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
When you judge yourself for taking a selfie
05.03.2026 23:38 — 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Phew. What a day. Can't believe I need to do it all again tomorrow.
[Repeat forever]
DO DO DO DO-DO DO DO DO
05.03.2026 01:21 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0If that's possible, maybe my baby is Mark Morrison..
04.03.2026 21:44 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Accidentally put on Return of the Mack - Mark Morrison and my baby started grooving along like he's heard it a million times and knows heart ache
04.03.2026 21:35 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0I wonder why
04.03.2026 09:15 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
I know two people in Dubai. One posted that they're safe. The other was carrying on like nothing was happening.
👀
They seem to be on a loop, just like yours 💚
04.03.2026 08:05 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Or better quality jokes
04.03.2026 05:20 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Another way the movies from the 80s and 90s lied to us 😤
04.03.2026 05:19 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0No greater shame than not getting a laugh reaction in the group chat, someone else replies and that gets the laugh reactions instead.
04.03.2026 05:17 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0👀
04.03.2026 04:25 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Hah. Already had it. Might have another.
04.03.2026 03:28 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
What am I thinking about?
04.03.2026 03:25 — 👍 15 🔁 0 💬 5 📌 0
I'm worried about getting too swole.
And by that I mean so round and cuddly that people won't let the hug go.
Any tips?
03.03.2026 00:10 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Many people seem to forget that war affects innocent people who never wanted to get involved in the first place.
03.03.2026 00:09 — 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Dress like you dgaf. Will make them think you're dripping in cash and might buy one!
03.03.2026 00:01 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Do they have to kiss when they meet?
02.03.2026 21:12 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0The Straight of Hormuz implies the existence of the Gay of Hormuz
02.03.2026 20:31 — 👍 9 🔁 3 💬 1 📌 0
Hello from the couch. Spot the drool stains and a baby pulling at my t-shirt.
02.03.2026 05:58 — 👍 19 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Ok this got me
01.03.2026 22:00 — 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0My baby slipped and hurt himself tonight. I felt every tear :(
01.03.2026 08:27 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0What... What if... what if the AI clankers were right—this is the right way to do an em dash.
01.03.2026 07:59 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Now can you study why we get a semi from a first sip too
01.03.2026 03:09 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Simpsons did (predicted) it
28.02.2026 08:58 — 👍 12 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
Spotify: LIVE EVENTS NEAR YOU ✨
*Turns to camera*
"what about the event of.. life 🤨"
Flirted too hard and now I'm going to the Sydney Mardi gras.
28.02.2026 03:09 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Flirted too hard and now I'm watching reruns of Gossip Girl episodes.
It's... Actually not bad.