Folkyhel

But 'cremulator' is a nice word. Sounds like something you'd make posh coffee with.

To be honest I still quite like Izzard's idea of being twanged into a tree...

Also, the comedian in me just spotted "The process involves weighing the body" and I wanna say I'm not keen on the idea of being shamed for my BMI after death, as well...

I like that they put the line "This story contains details of water cremation which some readers may find upsetting" underneath "The powdered remains are given back to relatives in an urn" and not, you know, at the top of the article...

(I don't mind seeing people being totes emoshe on telly - I quite like it. I just don't want it every ten minutes if it feels convoluted)

I didn't eat vegetables (despite being vegetarian from a really young age) for the first half of my life because I didn't know it was possible to cook them without bleaching them. I was in my late teens/early 20s before I learned to cook dried pasta.

The last series' of (Celeb) Race Across the World were especially excruciating. I don't know if I'll watch the next ones. They're on a literal journey. That's enough. I don't need them to all have a figurative one every time the camera is in their face as well.

I’m no good at pottery but even if I were, I’d struggle to think of personal stories to tell in my pottery. It’s like on Masterchef when they have to cook a meal based on a food memory. All my food memories are shit roast dinners or Heinz Toast Toppers.

I was just catching up on last week’s #potterythrowdown ahead of this week’s semifinal - and for the love of god, please stop asking competitors to bare their souls. Almost every challenge so far has asked for a personal story and that episode was particularly heavy. Can’t they just make pots?

SYMpToMs OF OVARIAN CANCER FEELING FULL QUICKLY AND/OR LOSS OF APPETITE 1 2 PERSISTENT BLOATING (NOT BLOATING THAT COMES AND GOES) 3 NEEDING TO WEE MORE URGENTLY OR MORE OFTEN THAN USUAL 4 PAIN IN YOUR TUMMY OR PELVIS (THE AREA BETWEEN YOUR HIP BONES) Target Ovarian Cancer

It’s Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month, everyone. There’s no routine screening for ovarian cancer, and it isn’t picked up by other gynaecological screening (such as smear tests). But if you do think it might be a possibility, you can ask your GP for a blood test and/or a scan.

To be fair to them I don't mind them dropping the parcel and running away, as long as they're consistent, because that way, I know what to expect. I know it'll arrive and I just have to get to the package before it gets stolen. I'd prefer it if they knocked the door...

They told me they'd "delivered" to our "outbuilding", the other week (we don't have one). They meant they'd slung it over the wall out the front, as usual.
What's funny is next day they "couldn't deliver" because there was nowhere to leave it.
I was in, both times. They couldn't be arsed to knock.

Timeline clense

Mr. S: You know why they're Scottish Widows?

Me: Go on ...

Mr. S: Their husbands got kilt.

The bar to be the worst British Prime Minister is punishingly high but this mf is having a really good crack.

"We would do anything for our kids! No, obviously not like driving marginally slower."

A man who called us extremists yesterday for wanting to bring down people bills is helping bomb schools today.

*glazed expression*

You're - *long sigh* - kiln it.

I still think there should be a spin-off of Pottery Throwdown, where they interview whoever went out that week, and they should call it "Pottery Throwdown: You're Fired".

Labour’s response, ‘We have to do the things people hate us for faster’.

And they have

If someone with ADHD is fairly successfully focusing on a task, do not start talking to them about other tasks they also need to do. 😫 Like, whose side are you on, here?

Aside from, you know, all of the rest of it, Queers for Palestine are people.

At least 63 girls killed in strike on school in southern Iran Eyewitness tells MEE girls aged between seven and 12 seen lying dead across their school

“The victims were between seven and 12 years old, according to Iran's Tasnim and Fars news agencies.”

I'm already sick of "It's all a distraction from Epstein" replies. This regime is killing innocent people because our leaders are all power-hungry tyrants and war profiteers. When you say it's "just a distraction" you minimize the gravity of what's happening and the lives lost.

It's fun how Labour being like "you've got to vote for us to keep the Tories/Reform out" is just good, pragmatic politics but people voting for the Greens to keep Reform and Labour out is "sectarianism" and "tactical voting" (which is somehow now derogatory.)

The US and Israel are bombing Iran. Anyone reporting it as “preventive” is engaging in propaganda, by definition. There is no interpretation of what’s happening as anything else than a crime.

You don’t have to like the Iranian regime to understand why this is bad.

So, wait, by "sectarianism" we mean "Muslims tended to not vote for overtly Islamophobic parties?" And that's the fault of.... the party they did vote for and Muslims?

The Labour Party haven't "lost their way" - they went exactly where they intended to go & told everyone begging them not to to go fuck themselves & they're not sorry they did it, they're just cross that those people are pointing & laughing at them for stepping on that rake they'd been warned about.